You're My Home // Bucky Barnes// The Winter Soldier

Chapter 33

We got back to the car and didn't speak at all apart from me asking if it was fine if I played music and he just nodded. It was unbelievably awkward and I could feel him staring at me every so often as we made our way back.

When we got back to the Tower I greeted Pepper who was still up before stating I was tired and headed up to my room. I wasn't sure if Bucky went to bed or not because I left so quickly wanted to be alone after that. I stayed in my room for the remainder of the day thinking about what happened.

He kissed me. Again.
That doesn't just happen on accident it must've been intentional right? I mean the last time he kissed me was about a month or so ago and I was sure then that I didn't feel anything for him. I don't know, maybe it was just me being confused, we have been hanging out for a long time. I was worried of what he thought of me though, I wish I could tell him I wasn't actually with Cole.

Would that even make it better though?

I huff in frustration as I shut my lights to go to bed.
I just want to sleep and forget today happened at all.

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The next morning I got up and went to eat breakfast alone in the kitchen as I noticed no one was there. I scrolled on my phone while I was on my social media as I just ate my cereal. I got dressed into my workout clothes and made my way to the gym fully aware that I was probably going to work out alone today, I didn't mind.

When I went into the gym I was proved wrong once I saw Bucky in their doing weights. I walked in and greeted him with a plain expression and he continued to work out.

We didn't speak much at first as I just did my stretches and ran in the treadmill as I played music in the speakers from the gym.

He ended up stoping and walking up to me as I was still running.

"Yeah?" I asked out of breath as he just looks at me.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," I said not stopping my run.

"Look yesterday...I know I said it wouldn't happen again and it did. I don't know what's wrong with me I'm just..."

"Confused?" I asked him slowing down in the treadmill.

"Yeah.."

"I get it, I think we're both confused," I tell him chuckling a bit to lighten the mood. "You know just hanging out a lot has made us confused but we're just good friends," I say smiling back at him.

"Y-Yes exactly," he says smiling almost forcefully from the looks of it. Or at least I think. I don't really know anymore.

"No worries, I shouldn't have done what I did either," I say smiling turning the treadmill off and grabbing my water.

"Yeah me too..I'm glad we both are on the same page."

"Yep," I simply say taking a sip of my water.

"Well I'm going to go shower now," he said about to walk away.

"Hey! No sparring today?" I question.

"Uh-Well I'm just tired.."

"Tired? Or afraid?" I ask with a grin challenging him.

He raises his eyebrows looking back with an amused look on his face now.

"Okay," he says walking back grabbing his plastic daggers from his bag yet again.

He throws one to me in a quick motion as I catch it before it falls to the ground.

"Show me what you got," he says smirking.

We start to spar with our daggers for a bit. He does not hold back AT ALL. He's going pretty fast but miraculously I seem to be keeping up, at least enough for him to not seriously hurt me.

At one point he has my dagger caught in between his as he pushes me to drop it and I fight him till he drops his. He grabs me by the throat but not hard enough to choke me as I wrap my legs around him trying to hit him hard with my elbow on his arm to get him to let me go.

Throughout that whole moment he eventually gets me pinned to the floor as he lays on top of me with his hand still gripping my throat.

All you could hear was us panting as he stares at me intensely and I at him too. He darts his eyes from mine to my lips until they stay there for a second.
Before I could think or say anything else we hear a knock at the gym door and get startled.

"Jane?" I hear a familiar voice. As Bucky's intense gaze leaves my eyes and looks up. I see his somewhat calm manner falter as he looks up to see who was here and let's go of me getting up to his feet.

I turn to see Cole in the doorway looking lost but somewhat relieved to see me.

"Cole?" I say walking up to him to receive his hug he was waiting for as he opened his arms. Before I could get to him I back up quickly remembering how sweaty I am.

"What?" He asks.

"Well I'm all sweaty I don't want to make you smell," I tell him with a cringed expression.

"Right," he says looking away from me towards Bucky who was still looking at us from afar with a straight face.

"What..what's going on?" Cole asks looking back at me.

"Uh-Well remember I told you I was doing training? Well Bucky here has been training me," I say with a big smile waving towards Bucky trying to get everything out as I catch my breath from the tiredness of the workout and the unexpected visit from Cole.

"W-What are you doing here? I thought you weren't supposed to be here until like...tomorrow?" I ask trying to sound the best I could. I didn't want him to think I didn't want him here but I am pretty shocked. He did tell me he was going to be gone for a whole week.

"Well I wanted to surprise you...I was able to come back early and I wanted to hang out. Unless...you're still busy," he says with what seems the fakest smile ever looking back at Bucky before turning to look at me.

"No! No not at all I'm actually done now I was going to go shower. If you give me like five-ten minutes I can get ready and we can go," I say smiling at him.

"Of course," he says with a smile.

"Thanks Buck...I'll see you later?" I say smiling as he just smiles back with a nod.

I start walking out as Cole just waves him goodbye and Bucky forcefully smiles back waving him goodbye.

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We head up to my room as he waits in there while I shower in my restroom and get ready. By the time I finish I actually took way longer then I intended and it was around one thirty in the afternoon.

"Sorry I just- I wasn't expecting you. Let me just brush my hair then I'll grab my sweater and my phone and we can leav-" I say rushing back into the room quickly before he grabs me.

"Hey it's okay," he says with a smile.
"There's no rush," he places his hands on my shoulders and rubs them reassuringly. "Take all the time you need," he says smiling back at me.

I return the smile thanking him before going back to the restroom and finish getting ready.

When he does things like that it really makes me feel horrible that I don't feel the same he feels for me. He doesn't seem to be into anything shady...he seems like he genuinely likes me and I wish I still felt that way but it's been so long and I just don't feel that way for him anymore.  Hopefully it won't be longer until Steve finally lets me leave this 'relationship' or whatever this is before it gets too serious and I actually hurt Cole.