You're My Home // Bucky Barnes// The Winter Soldier

Chapter 38

Another Flashback?! ⚠️

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Bucky's POV

A while later after I've ate my food I see Steve knock to come in. I wave him to come on in.

"Hey Buck, how you feeling."

"Better."

"What happened?"

"Well long story short I was shot saving Jane," I chuckle trying to lighten the situation.

"How'd that happen?"

"I was protecting her while we were being shot at with my body and I got shot in return."

"Well I'm just glad you're both okay."

"Yeah." I say looking up at the ceiling of the brightly lit infirmary.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He asks after a bit of silence as I turn to him looking at me intensely.

"Nothing," I tell him seriously. He worries too much for me.

"I know you better than most, so I know there's something wrong."

"You worry too much."

"I can't help it, you cause me stress," he says jokingly making me chuckle.

"Yeah I bet."

"So...Sam tells me you're getting close with Jane," he says making me go silent.

I don't know what he wants me to tell him. I can't tell him it's not true but I know if I say it he won't approve. Everyone here seems to think it's best I don't get close to her and I can't disagree with them.

"It's okay by me but I hope you're thinking of telling her the truth soon. Otherwise I would steer clear, she's very...she cares a lot for people. I know if you don't tell her she'll be really hurt if she finds out on her own."

I know he's right but how could I possibly tell her that. She would never talk to me again. She would hate me. I'll just try my best to distance myself...at least until I figure out the best way to tell her.

"Yeah," is all I say.

He stayed a bit long talking before letting me go to sleep.

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The next day I woke up to Steve telling me I could leave the infirmary so I got up and got dressed in some clothes he left for me in the restroom nearby.

When I started walking back in I bumped into someone rushing out and I saw it was Jane.

"Morning," I say not expecting her to have come back to check on me.

"Oh I thought you were probably upstairs eating breakfast."

"Well I just woke up."

"Oh, how are you feeling?" She asks eyeing me up and down.

"Better," I say showing her the wound that's probably healed now. "Thanks to you," I tell her with a smile. I'm pretty sure I would've lived had she not helped me right then and there but it healed much better because of her.

"Ah don't even worry about it, I'm just glad you're feeling better," she says. I'm glad seeing me better really cheers her up because it was really starting to feel crappy watching her worried and on edge last night.

"Yeah after I ate I actually knocked out," I tell her chuckling to reassure her even more that I did exactly what she had asked of me.

"Steve didn't come to see you?" She questions.

Damn it. He must've asked her where I was. I really hope she doesn't ask what we talked about.

"Oh uh, yeah he did for a bit but then I fell asleep. To be honest I can't even remember what we talked about," I lie hoping she won't ask further what had happened with Steve seeming I don't remember it.

"Yeah you seemed pretty out of it," she says chuckling a bit.

"Really? How was I?" I asked amused.

"Well you wouldn't let me get you food, you were begging me to stay."

I remember that of course. I think I was pretty out of it but the intense conversation switch with her and Steve sorta grounded me. I'm pretty glad they did because who knows what I would have said if they hadn't.

"Really?" I ask cringing at the memory.

"Yep," she says amused.

"And then?" I push further. I wouldn't usually pry for her to tell me about something that obviously put her in an off position but I wanted to know what she thought about what I told her. I hated that I had that need to know what she thinks.

"And then...I just stayed with you waiting until Wanda brought your food while you were like falling asleep. I kept trying to keep you awake though because you needed the food," she says pushing what we talked about aside like it never happened.

Of course, I knew I shouldn't have said anything. At least I don't have to worry about us, I just need to distance myself from her. As much at I hate the thought of it but she's seeing Cole after all and I can already see that what I said upset her the other day. I pushed too much...again.

"I see," I say staring into her eyes feeling a bit hurt if I'm being honest. "Well speaking of food.." I say wanting to change the topic as soon as possible. "Am I allowed now to go eat or do I have to stay here away from everyone?" I ask joking trying to lighten the mood and cut the tension from what we were talking about.

"Of course not, come on that was just so you wouldn't have passed out in the middle of the living room," she says making me laugh as I followed her out to go eat breakfast along with everyone else.