The Sickness In Our Heads || AU

n i n e -

•'I LIKE T H E SILENCE  B U T NOT Y O U R S'•

DEA

 I see the brown dark ceiling for a second, then darkness again. The darkness likes to play and overpower my body, doesn't it? I can still hear, but I'm having a little hard time moving. My body is too exhausted and slightly cold; completely stationary. For a moment, I wonder why, and then the thought that a few minutes ago I might not have been alive, but dead—drowned more precisely, made me...scared?

Was I scared or just a bit shocked?

Suddenly, the fluffy and warm thing is removed from my body when I'm put to bed. I open my eyes, coldness surrounding me even though the room is warm; meaning he had turned on the vapor. The towel is no longer on me, me being in shock covers my breasts and down my most intimate part - between my legs. He peeks at me and I lower my head, clenching my jaw.

Is he going to hurt me now? For what I tried to do a few minutes ago? He won't, right?

"I'm bringing you clothes, wait here." He explains from above me, not waiting for me to say something, and walks out of the room. I guess he figures out that I am not capable of doing anything other than just whimper and cry. Closing the door behind him I continue to cover my parts, still in shock.

What if he locks me in this room and just comes to give me food? What if he forbid me to see Giga? Or anyone else expects him?

I don't notice him being in front of me with what is supposed to be my clothes. Holding them in one hand he crouches down when I don't raise my head to even look at them. His fingertips brush my upper thigh and he sits on the floor. His face is almost level with my private area.

"De—

"Clothes."

I murmur surprisingly without stuttering. He gets up immediately. Grabbing the pale pink blouse he tells me to stretch my arms out. I refuse. I think of him seeing my boobs again. Well, maybe a few minutes ago he didn't see them correctly because he was too concerned to get me out of the water, but now I can't risk that.

Unfortunately, he has other plans. Ha-Joon grabs my elbows, I allow him and move them to my sides. I feel exposed, vulnerable... too accessible. He quickly puts the bra on my upper part which I don't see when he picks it. He goes behind me to claps it. I know I have only seconds before he begins again to dress me. I clutch the blouse and put it on me. It hugs my upper body perfectly, too perfect for my liking. Now he can easily and shamelessly stare at my figure. Covered or not it doesn't matter. After I plop on the tracksuit too he heads in front of me.

Then Ha-Joon walks to the drawers and pulls out a big towel. "I'll bring you a cup of water. It will make you calm down." He places it on my shoulder and quickly walks out.

Unconsciously, I start making movements on my hair with the towel, drying it out. My eyes closing at the comfort. I've had always liked fingers circling on my scalp, massaging it. My mother has done it many times before stop giving me that much attention. My lips lock and my eyes steam again.

Just forget it, Dea! She no longer matters!

Right...?

Gulping the saliva down my throat he finally comes in and my hair is a bit drier now.

Hesitatingly, he says to me. "You have to rest," Licking his lips, he starts again. ", for a few hours or maybe the whole day?"

I nod. A whole day will do me good I guess. Maybe then I'll finally rest without worrying about anything around me. Before going out of the room he looks up at me. "Take your time."

I hear the door closing and my back drop on the soft sheets. I no longer have the ability to worry or think. The darkness envelops me gradually as I drift to another, let's hope better, imaginary world.

—
H

A-JOON

"Did you do something to her? She looks kinda...paralyzed."

The tall girl now looks like a puppy, wet by rain and hungry by lack of food, snuggled in Jeon-Hyun's lap. Her face is hidden in the crook of his neck, hands holding the grey shirt and not letting go of it.

She looks traumatized. She is.

It is surprising to see Giga acting like this to Ha-Joon. She had always been backing, flinching away from him. It's obvious she doesn't want him, she doesn't even want to be looked at by this guy.

"Mhm." He starts murmuring something under his nose. His lips nearing her ear. He is whispering something that no one in the living room can hear including Ha-Joon. They are alone though. No television is turned on, no other stuff in the kitchen is turned on, no sound coming from Jungsuk and Yeri's room. Even outside since all doors and windows are closed.

Finally, he says out loud a few words. "Just help her bath herself." Clenching his jaw, he continues to keep his lips there but not talking. He is angry all of a sudden.

Ha-Joon gulps down the last drop of coke and places it on the table in front of them. He glances at both. Her back is turned towards him so he can not see her face fully. He is sure she is not blinking or even breathing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He answers with no hesitation, looking straight into his eyes. Then goes back to pet her on the head...like a dog, like she is his obedient little girl.

"Why are you asking? Don't you belive me?"

The thing that makes him question his best friend is that her head is slightly wet and quite shaggy. It was as if someone, he may be, was holding her underwater. Like... trying to drown her? Then, after that whole moment of despair and struggling for a drop of air, he hastily had pulled her out of the water, dried her with towels, and dressed her. Maybe, maybe not? But Ha-Joon had seen many things and had watched many movies, documentaries about killings, kidnappings... Documentaries are a lot more different than movies. More real and there's more explanation.

He looks in front of him, seeing the reflection on the small TV.

"It's just a little harder for me to trust people."

Jeon-Hyun nods his head and continue to pet her. He knows something big is happening to them, to her. Looking back at him, he thinks maybe that will be the last time he lets Jeon-Hyun live.

edited <3