The Sickness In Our Heads || AU

t w e l v e -

•sUrPrIsInG dInNeR•

DEA

I heard their whispers, mean words. I saw their confused faces, their intentions towards me, even on people that barely I knew. They were all horrible and cruel, and nasty, and dangerous. I did not deserve what happened to me. Right?

I will always remember the audacity, insolence, hypocrisy, and how everyone refused to help me and made themselves into little innocent beings that didn't saw or heard anything. Ever. They did that, no only once or twice, but more. That's what humans are - stupid beings who are interested in their happiness and nothing else.

When I was a kid I always thought about how could exist people that made them think and behave like this, or were they just born that way? I've been thinking about this a lot, but I don't think it made sense to do that. Whatever you do, it won't make it change as if they were brainwashed and can't go back to normalcy... to normal behavior?

                                                                                                 -

DEA

It's been almost a month. I haven't left the room rationing in the doorknob yet, I haven't touched. Ha-Joon comes sometimes to provide me food, mostly noodles, I did eat a little. For two days straight he hasn't come in, leaving me alone with my thoughts and nothing to eat and drink. But at least I was alone. I needed that.

My heartbeat increases as my mind head back to that night. Flashbacks did not stop coming after me. I got drunk and... the dark purplish bruises on my body feel weird every time I look at my body, they almost faded away. There are a few that stayed but are not very noticeable anymore. I close my eyes and slowly unlocks them. He did not discuss it with me. He pretended like nothing ever happened, so did I, but I could see it bothered him. It bothered him that I did not react in any way when I first saw them, or he understood that I did not need to react to feel taken advantage of. 

I sigh, turning on my back and pulling the blanket off me. It makes a soft, quiet sound. My legs are bare, unlike my upper body is all cover. I glance down and see three still slightly visible hickeys on my inner thigh - the only place left with prints made by his mouth. Blinking a few times, I shut my thighs together, wanting to erase his last long touch.

Snap out of it, girl.

Looking above me I see the window. Soon the sun will hide. I look at the sky for a few seconds more. I  remember I am kidnapped, not abducted. There is a difference, many people don't find any. To be abducted means that you have been a fraud or by persuasion. Kidnapped means to be forced, threatened, or deceitful, with intent to cause someone to be detained against their will.

And I am.

I hear muffle footsteps, they seem to climb the stairs to the second floor to reach me. I stay still, waiting. He probably will enter - it is the only room on the second floor except for the small terrace.

Soon the door opens and Ha-Joon comes in view, closing it quickly behind him. A smell fills my nose. He had cooked something but I can not understand what. 

"I made something for you." A smile makes its way to his lips, grinning at me. I finally find what the smell is as he takes a few steps towards me. Strong funky smell. "Wanna go downstairs and see it?

I don't want to go anywhere with him, plus the other can be there too.

"You might like it." He insists further, not taking his eyes away from me when I lock mine with his. "I'm sure you will."

"Okay."

I would better agree, go downstairs, see what he has done for me to get it done faster. That way, It will be quicker to come back in the room alone.

His eyes widen at my answer and even more when I get up from the bed and walk to the door. Stepping away a few centimeters I open the door and walk out. I do not wait for him but hear his footsteps behind me.

Once we are in the living room my body is frozen as I remember my legs are not covered. I take a few heavy breaths and turn around to do face him. I think he understood and say.

"No one is here, they are out. It's only me here."

'It's only me here.'

Exactly.

He tries to comfort me but did not help much. I sigh and wait for the surprise. He notices my lost face and tells.

"Behind you 꽃."
{Flower}

My eyes see the table, different kinds of food above it. Salad of cucumbers and tomatoes with tofu in a big bowl, rice in two small bowls with a chopstick on the side, kimchi of course. My mouth gapes out without realizing it. There is not only a table with delicious food but also the couch is covered with a soft-looking small blanket. Pillows placed from one end of it to the other. The curtains are open and the rays of the setting of the sun go through the windows as if touching everything in the living room.

"Shall we sit? " He brings me back to reality with a question, reality where I do not feel safe.

 I do not notice anything he had done, even him standing quietly behind me, due to my worry.

"The food might get cold and we both don't want that, right?" He tells me again as if 'we are about to do something together like he desires to do something with me. But I don't blame him. He has been away from me for too long. I know he is a fùcked up in the head—I'm sure of it. He kidnapped me, we were both in the psychiatric hospital with mental problems even though I've had never known what he is. People there had said that he had come by himself, which is not common, wanting to get a cure for severe depression. It must've been hard for him. Still, that does not give him any right or privilege to kidnap me. I am not something he can steal from the world to restore his health. I am not someone that have to cleanse his demons inside.

We sit down and he moves the small bowls with rice to me, stating.  ''Both are for you.'' I don't say anything and just grabs them and start eating with the chopstick. Ha-Joon also does not comment and starts eating. He eats fast like someone who hasn't been eating for a few past days.

My eyes go back to the window, seeing the sun is already hidden.