Formula 1 Oneshots (boy x boy) Complete

sainz x norris

I haven't posted in ages. I won't explain that exactly, I'll let you know from this short one shot for fraugoretzka My problems are not exactly the same as those in the oneshot, but quite similar. Feelings you don't want to trust anyone. Problems where you think that people would laugh at you if you heard them. I've had to search for help once in my life. Now I don't feel like I did then and I think it's enough if I write these problems out of myself.

Warning: depression!

'I love you more than anything'
Giggling, he let the Spaniard push him onto the bed. Kissing they rolled over on the soft blanket and enjoyed the fact that they were finally together again. The day passed in a flash. They had kissed, undressed, made love, then kissed again. So mainly a cycle that was repeated over and over again. For some it was maybe a bit monotonous, but for them it was just perfect. They would have done nothing better than that. Actually, it didn't matter what they did, the main thing was that they did it together and in love. They both used to say that love was stupid, but then they found each other. Love, connectedness and kinship if you could say that. Three things that made even poor people rich in a way. The little Brit and the Spaniard, or how they called them, Carlando. Even if many of their friends only saw the perfect relationship, there were serious arguments behind it as was normal, but none of these arguments could destroy the wall that they had built together around their life together. Maybe one day it would break, or it would last forever, you couldn't tell in advance.

________________________________________
2 years later

Lando was sitting on his bed, lightly crying while thinking of these memories. Thinking about Carlos was like a daily routine for him. He just did it every day.
Their relationship didn't last longer than some months and they broke up after a big argument. It was already almost 2 years ago, but he still couldn't stop thinking about it. What if it wouldn't have happened? Would they be still together?
He missed Carlos every day and cried for hours when everything happened. He loved Carlos to much to forget him.
He was missing the way he talked Spanish to him. The way he burried his nose into his neck after sex while cuddleing.

The young brit let out a quiet sob whilest leaning back on his bed. Why couldn't this feeling just stop? Why couldn't he just hate or forget Carlos?

The break up turned him into a wreck. Problems with eating, problems with sleeping and even with speaking sometimes.
He didn't want to meet friends. He liked the silence of the dark room where nobody could see him. The days just went by making him feel as if his existense was just superfluous. As if he was worthless without Carlos.

He was loosing himself to the monsters in his head.
Loosing himself to his own feelings.
He wasn't okay, but he smiled. He smiled for his friends, his fans, his team and for his family. He didn't want to make the people upset who tried to make him happy. That smile hided everything. His broken heart, his tears and all of his feelings.

He was born with a heart filled of love and he loved like he could, loosing the love of his heart, hoping, one day, there will be someone who can fill it up again.

'You said you loved me more than anything. Why did you left me then?'