TMNT One Shots

Please Don't Leave Us Leo [Part Four]

Leo's POV

I know I should be happy. I know I should be thankful that I was given a second chance. But everything is just so hard. Everything feels like it's gotten worse ever since I woke up. I'm too tired to smile anymore. I'm too tired to do anything really.

It hurts seeing the looks on their faces when they see me. I try not to look at them because of it. I started wearing a bandana as a mask to cover up the sight of my stupid feeding tube. I felt like there was a million eyes on it before I started hiding it. I would eat normal food if I could. But my mind would always yell at me that I didn't diserve to eat even if I so much as looked at food.

I didn't like leaving my room. I tried staying in bed as much as I could, but of course my brothers always pestured me to come watch a movie with them or join in on game night. I know they mean well, and that they're trying to help me. I love them for that. But the thing is...I don't think I'll ever be "fixed". I'm far beyond broken. I should have died that night...

I feel awful that I haven't said "Thank you Donnie for saving me". I just... don't think I should've been saved. I'm more useless now than I ever was now that I can't go on patrol with them given my current state. God I'm pathetic...

"Leo?" Donnie said knocking on my door. Damit. I quickly hide away my pocket knife under my bed and slide my sleeve down as he walked in. We met eyes. He stood in the doorway for a few moments. The look he gave me told me he knew. I looked down at the floor as he walked up to me. I didn't pull away when he gently grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. I already knew how disappointed he was.

"Sorry.." I mumbled.

He kneeled down to my level. "Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about Leo. I know it can be hard to stop. Come on, let's get you cleaned up". He took my hand and I followed him to his lab. I had a seat on the cot while he fetched the first aid kit.

After cleaning my cuts he grabbed a roll of bandages."Hey Leo?" He said as he wrapped up my arm.

"Hm?" I replied keeping my eyes on the roll of bandages.

"You know we love you right? And that we're proud of you? We couldn't ask for a better brother". He finished up wrapping my arms and looked up at me. "We're all very thankful that you're still here with us".

I looked back up at him. And then I was crying. It happened so suddenly that I couldn't stop myself. Donnie wrapped his arms around me and I sobbed into his chest. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that. My inner voice told me so often that I was hated, unloved, pathetic, and that everyone was better off without me, and I believed it. But Donnie didn't think those things. None of them did. I was too blinded by my own mind to see it. I had forgotten who I was, what I meant to them.

"Thank you Donnie" I sobbed. "I love you".

"I love you too, Leo" Donnie spoke warmly. I could hear the smile in his voice.

Things haven't been easy. But right now, in this moment, I have hope that maybe everything will be okay.

************

The next day rolled around. I was sitting on the couch not really doing anything other than staring blankly at the TV.

"Hey Leo!" Mikey beamed. He smiled brightly and bounced up and down clearly excited about something.

"Hey baby bro, what's up?" I asked looking away from the TV show I wasn't even watching.

"I'm gonna make cookies! Do you wanna help?" He asked giving me the biggest and sparkliest eyes I've ever seen on him. Not wanting to disappoint him, I agreed and followed him to the kitchen. I watched as he ran around fetching all the needed ingredients. He put everything down on the counter and opened up his cook book. He started listing off what to add in the mixing bowl and I helped add them in. I cracked the eggs, measured the milk, added the sugar, stuff like that.