TMNT One Shots

Not Just The Angry One

My entire life, there wasn't a day where anyone asked me why I'm so angry all the time.

I hope that day never comes. Because even I don't know the answer.

I don't like feeling this way. I hate being so short tempered. I hate losing myself in my own rage on a daily basis. I've hurt the ones I care about because of it. I allways regret it afterwards. But then I just end up doing it again.

I don't know why I even bother trying to improve myself. It's never going to happen. I'll always be the pathetic turtle with anger issues. I'll always end up shouting or yelling at my brothers. I'll never change.

I'm scared

I'm so scared. All the time. I'm scared one day I'll go too far. I'm scared that my family will eventually grow tired of me and kick me out. I'm scared of what's to come. I hate not knowing what the future holds. I hate feeling so alone.

The entire fucking world is against us. It's either someone out to destroy us, or average every day people who will probably also want us dead if they were to find out we exist. We're nothing but freaks to them anyway.
Casey and April are the acceptions of course...I don't know why they bother with me though.

Let's face it. They'd all be better off without me. If I were gone they'd have no one to shout at them. No one to hit them. No one to stress over....No one to hate.

I pull my knees to my chest as tears threaten to fall. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to hold them back. It wasn't any use though. Seconds later I was sobbing. Fucking hell. I burry my face in my arms as my uncontrollable sobs grow louder. I had to stop. Someone was going to hear. They can't see me like this. They can't. I'm so pathetic.

And then it happened. There was a knock at the door. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

"Raph?" A soft voice spoke. It was Mikey. "You okay buddy?"

"Go...away" I said holding my head. I sounded so harsh. He's only trying to help. Why am I like this? Why couldn't I just tell him that I wanted to be alone?....Do I want to be alone?
I never know...

I heard the door creek open. Why was he coming in?! Why was he still trying?!

I didn't move an inch as he slowly stepped closer. I was paralyzed with fear. I feared what he'd say. I feared what I would say. I feared what I would do.

He sat on the bed in front of me. I didn't dare look up.

"Raph-"

"Don't" I said squeezing my eyes shut. "Just... don't" I whispered.

"Okay Raph" He said in a gentle tone. I thought he'd leave after that. But he didn't. He stayed by my side. When I layed down and curled up in a ball, he layed behind me and draped his arm over my chest. It was...nice.
I didn't realize how much I needed it. I guess sometimes I just needed a hug.

Ten minutes must have past before I said anything.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"For what?" Mikey asked.

I bit my lip as a tear rolled off my cheeck. "Everything..." I cried. Mikey's arm around me tightened.

"It's okay" He whispered softly.

I shook my head. "No, it's not. It's never okay Mikey...I yell at you, I hit you, and you don't diserve any of it" My cries got louder. "None of you guys do. None of you disereve what i put you all through! I'll always be the angry one!"

Mikey sat up. "Raph look at me".
I sniffled and turned my head to face him. I must of looked like a mess.
"You are not just the angry one. You get mad, sure. But that doesn't define you as a whole. You are so much more Raphael. You're strong, you're loyal, a great fighter, a good turtle, and...you're my big brother. I'm glad you are too". He layed ontop of my side and hugged me tight. "I know you're trying Raph...it's not your fault you feel this way. We haven't exactly had the easiest life...But all that matters is that we're together. I love you Raph. We all do. Nothing will ever change that".

I smiled through my tears and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you Mikey...Thank you for staying with me and making me feel better".

"That's what I'm here for " he said smiling.

I sniffled. "Hey Mikey? Can you sleep In here tonight?"

He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over us. "sleepover!" He giggled.

I laughed and hugged the goofball. He was the best little brother I could ask for.

A/N: sorry it's so short! Just wanted to write something a little more lighthearted quick <3