TMNT One Shots

Bad dreams and guilt

Mikey's POV

I had another bad dream...
They've been happening a lot lately.
Ever since we had a particularly terrifying encounter with Shredder.
We survived, but not without cost. We all got scraped up pretty bad...We all have a few permanent scars...Raph broke his arm while protecting me...
Leo broke his ankle...
And Donnie nearly lost his left eye and broke his ribs...

I walked away with just a few scrapes. They suffered so much. I didn't try hard enough. I could have protected them like they have for me. Why was I such a coward? What if I can't ever protect them? What if I lose them and it's all my fault?

I sit up in bed unable to breath. The fear from my dream lingering was now mixed in with my fear of losing them. Damn it, now I'm panicking. I'm so helpless it's pathetic.

I press my shell up against the wall behind my bed and focus on my breathing. I couldn't stop crying though. I couldn't stop hyperventilating and it just kept getting worse. I started coughing, which made me panic even more knowing I was going to have an asthma attack if I didn't calm down soon. It was a vicious cycle.

I hear footsteps quickly approaching my door, then all my brothers walk in.
I duck my head in my arms ashamed of them seeing me like this. I hold my breath in an attempt to calm myself but I ended up breaking down into sobs followed by a coughing fit. I wheezed trying to inhale and I started to shake. My brothers all rush to my side.

"Hey, it's okay buddy" Leo said kneeling down next to my bed. He held my hand with both his own.
Raph sat on the bed next to me and pulled me in for a side hug while Donnie fetched my inhaler.
I took it with my spare hand and inhaled the medicine. I then closed my eyes and focused on calming myself. Leo rubbed my hand with his thumb and Raph hugged me tighter.

Within a few minutes my breathing was back to normal. I wiped my tears away before opening my eyes again.

"There" Donnie said warmly. "Feeling a little better now?".
I nodded. "You wanna tell us what happened?" He asked in a gentle tone.

"Had another bad dream" I mumbled.

"Another?" Raph asked sounding surprised. Crud. I never told them.
"How long have you been having bad dreams Mikey?"

I sniffled as I looked away. "Since...Shredder almost killed us..." I said holding back my tears.

"Oh Mikey, why didn't you tell us sooner?" Leo asked with soft eyes.

"I don't know...I guess I felt...weak for having them" I mumbled. "I could have lost you guys..."

"It was pretty scary" Donnie said. "We could have lost you too".

"You guys protected me though" I said hugging my knees. "But I couldn't do the same. I was...too afraid..."

I recalled back to the very day. I was the first to be hit by Shredder. He hit me hard enough to slam me into a wall. He went to claw me but Raph huddled over me, his shell getting scratched instead. Shredder grabbed his arm and squeezed, hard. That's when he broke it. Donnie went in on his attack along with Leo. They distracted him long enough for Raph to regain himself. He joined in on the fight...and I just sat there, pressed up against the wall. Paralyzed with fear and in a dizzy spell from the hit I took.
Eventually I did get up and help...but not until after my brothers were severely hurt.

"Mikey" Raph said bringing me out of my thoughts. I noticed the tears streaming down my cheecks and quickly wiped them away.

"It's okay Mikey" Donnie said. "You pulled through in the end. You fought well, better than you ever had actually. But even if you couldn't, we wouldn't blame you. Or be upset with you. We know you always try your best".

"You did get hit pretty hard afterall" Leo added. "You were probably in shock. Shredder came out of nowhere when he attacked you. And you said you were dizzy right?" He asked. I nodded. "I'd say that's reasonable enough not to be able to fight again right away. But, like Donnie said, even if you couldn't it wouldn't mean you were weak. You're strong Mikey," he put a hand over my cheeck, "and we love you".

I smiled. "Thanks guys...I don't know what I'd do without you".

"Probably be horribly bored" Donnie said with a smirk.

"Yeeah, we are pretty fun aren't we?" Leo chuckled.

I giggled and shook my head. "I love you guys".

Raph rested his head on mine. "we love you too Mikey".
They all hugged me, and eventually we all fell asleep huddled up.