First Sight (Marina)

Chapter 5

One second, only one damn second was all Maya wanted where she wouldn't think of the brunette, she was getting annoyed at herself, how she would let herself be consumed by someone she barely even knew.

She hasn't crossed paths with the brunette ever since the wedding, which was almost two months ago, she misses looking into her eyes, but she can't keep doing this to herself.

Maya thought that her relationship with Jack was going to be smooth sailing after they got married, but all they seemed to do is snap at each other at work and argue about deciding to make babies at home. 

Jack kept pressuring Maya to conceive, the blonde loved babies, but she didn't want to bear one as her profession is very physically challenging and doesn't want growing a baby to stop her from doing the work she loves.

They both realized that they should have had this discussion before deciding on getting married, but both of them kept arguing and then ignoring the issue postponing it for later on.

*****

"...WHY DON'T YOU WANT A BABY? ISNT IT WHY WE GOT MARRIED, IN ORDER FOR US TO BUILD A FAMILY?, I HAVE SHUT UP ABOUT YOU NOT TAKING MY LAST NAME BUT THIS AS WELL IS TOO MUCH!" Jack yelled at Maya as they stood in the middle of the apartment.

 "I HAVE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, I DON'T WANT A BABY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO STOP DOING MY- UGH you know what, I cant take this anymore, I have a huge headache, I'm going on a run" Maya said as she put on her shoes and left the apartment but stopped in her tracks when she heard Jack yell.

 "YEAH KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO", she was surprised, and anger bubbled inside of her, she turned around glared at him right in the eyes and left while slamming the door loudly.

As Maya started to make her way down the street to start her run, she noticed it was a quiet Saturday afternoon, the sun about to start slowly setting down, she didn't know where she was running to, no destination in mind.

 Suddenly she found herself at Carina's porch, she was confused at herself and thought 'what the fuck am I doing here?' as she was turning around to leave, she heard the door behind her open and the brunette appear seemingly having plans to leave.

"Oh! Hey, Uh what are you doing here?" the brunette questioned as she saw the flustered blonde in front of her, "Oh, um I was just uh, running to clear my head and I wasn't thinking where I was going and found myself here" Maya replied with a weird laugh.

 "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about something? I'm a pretty good listener" Carina offered looking into the intense blue eyes in front of her.

"I don't want to waste your time, its just work stress and all you know, newly wedded and stuff...".

"No you are not wasting my time at all, I was just leaving to take a walk on the beach, the weather seems nice, come and join me, I'm not taking no for an answer." the brunette said the last part mimicking what Maya has said to her multiple times before. They both chuckled and decided to make their way down towards the beach.

"So uh what do you want to talk about?" Carina asked as they were sitting on the blanket she brought with her over the soft sand.

 "I have a question, well since you are an OB and all, if I were to bear a child while doing my job as a firefighter will the baby be in danger?" Maya asked softly nervously playing with the sand between her hands.

 "Well it depends, maybe it might be dangerous to do your profession while you are in the early stages of pregnancy because stress and lifting heavy things can lead to a miscarriage, but since your position is Captain I don't think it will have a big effect because you don't run into the scenes, you just give out orders from the outside, well except the one time you came in and saved me" Carina replied as she looked into Maya's eyes taken away by the beauty of the reflection of the sunset in her blue irises allowing her to see every detail in her eyes noticing the golden yellow specks around her pupils.

 Maya stayed quiet as she got lost in Carina's eyes noticing how the golden streaks in her eyes highlighted by the sun made her eyes look like pools of honey, welcoming you into their warmth. Both of them realized that they were looking into each other, but they didn't mind.

Both women slowly leaned in looking deeply into the other's eyes until they dropped onto the other's lips, but neither of them made the move to close the gap between them, instead Maya just pressed her forehead against Carina's closed her eyes and took a deep breath the brunette doing the same, and said "Carina, I'm just straight up going to be honest and tell you because I cant keep it in anymore, its driving me crazy" the brunette replied with a hum assuring the blonde to keep going, and that she is listening.

 " I do not know if you feel the same way, but ever since I rescued you from the hospital, and our eyes connected, i- ugh you never left my head, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and that makes me a horrible horrible person because I am married, and I don't do cheating, I couldn't stop thinking about you at my own wedding for god's sake" the blond continued with a small laugh all while her eyes are closed and forehead against the brunette in front of her she took another deep breath and continued.

 "What scares me the most is that I barely know you, but whenever our eyes meet, every single cell in my body becomes alive, I feel adrenaline and electricity rushing through my veins, I- I- I feel alive." She ended while opening her eyes and looked into the beautiful hazel eyes in front of her, "But I can't do anything about it because I married Jack and I cannot do that to him, I can't bring myself to do that to him, despite how much I want to, I can't break my vows, I am a woman of my word".

 Maya rambled, surprised at herself as to how she was able to express the feelings she has to the brunette in front of her.

"I understand" Carina said softly and continued, "I have these feelings too, I never believed in love, or finding your soulmate, but with you I feel safe and sound and loved, but I know that some things might not be meant to be, that is how life is, its fucked up and we just have to accept it, but know that whenever you need me, I'll be here for you, no matter what, even if just as a friend".

 Maya nodded and pulled Carina into a hug, relieved she got it out of her chest and dealt with her emotions, small silent tears rolling down their cheeks, as their hearts pounded against each other not wanting to let go.

Maya stood up and said "I should get going, he must be worried I took a lot of time, thank you for being here for me, see you around" as she rushed back after Carina replied with a soft "Bye".

Carina remained on the beach until the sun has set completely, her mind replaying the words the blonde told her, and remembering the way her eyes shone in the sunset light. Her chest full and warm with love and happiness that Maya reciprocated her feelings, and she wasn't being delusional, but quickly felt sick as she couldn't be with the woman she loves.

*****

Maya returned to an empty apartment, Jack nowhere to be seen, so she decided to take some time for herself, took a long-needed shower after her run, and did some thinking concerning conceiving a baby, she decided that she would go with it as it was a valid point that she is captain and won't do physically challenging actions in her job other than ordering around and paperwork.

 She then made her way into bed as it was late now, and has an early shift tomorrow morning. She then heard her door open and felt Jack lay down in the bed next to her, so she turned around and said "Good god you reek of alcohol where were you?" he mumbled "Nothing just went out to drink with the guys", she the replied " I need to talk to you about something when you are sober in the morning" but she was met with snores coming out of his mouth, she sighed and then went back to sleep.

*****

"Good morning" Maya said as she saw Jack emerge from their bedroom, while sipping on her cup of coffee, handing him his own.

 "Come sit I want to talk to you about something" she continued. She was met with a grumble as Jack plopped down next to her, facing her allowing her to start on the topic.

 "I did some thinking, and I am willing to try and conceive a baby, I was just worried about how my job will affect the baby, but I realized since I am captain it is safe" Maya said softly, as Jack reciprocated with a smile.

"So, shall we start trying now?" Jack said with a devious smile on his face as he went to go on top of Maya, but she quickly stopped him and told him, "If we want to do this right, we should wait for my next ovulation cycle" she said laughing. "Ugh okayyy" he replied, "Thank you for trying" he added.