Lover // g. o'malley

As We Know It (pt. 2)

In hospitals they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eye. Some say there's a scent. The smell of death. Something. There's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you. You feel it coming. Whatever it is, it's creepy. Because if you know, what do you do about it? Forget about the fact you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?

I'm still standing in the OR and I still have my hand inside Mr. Carlson's body. Dylan is slowly strapping a flak jacket onto me. He's also wearing one. So are Meredith and Cristina. Burke was wearing one too, but he left to inform someone about what was going on, I'm not sure who it was. Cristina is still pumping the ambu bag since she refused to leave.

"You realize how stupid that was of you to do," Dylan says to me.

"It was Rach. Incredibly stupid!" Meredith says to me.

"Okay you know when you don't really need to be made fun of? Like when you've got your hand stuck inside of a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your boobs," I tell the three of them.

"Okay," Meredith agrees. Her and Cristina both look really scared.

"You've got a sense of irony," Dylan laughs.

"Only when things are ironic" I tell him. I turn to Meredith. "See, I told you I had a strong feeling I would die today," I tell her while trying to hold back tears. Meredith gives me a sad look, implying on the fact that I told her I had a feeling I would die today.

"What's that mean?" Dylan asks us.

"Nothing really," I tell him while shaking my head, putting my focus back on my hand that's holding the bomb inside of this patient.

Burke walks back into the OR with his flak jacket on. "Time for you to go," he whispers to Crisitina.

"No, I'm staying right here," she argues.

"There's nothing more you can do here. We got it all covered," he tells her. Cristina still doesn't move. "Cristina, this is not another clueless surgery for you to steal. This ammo can seriously go off at any time and kill every single person in this small room. Do you understand that? You can not be in here right now," Burke argues.

"Do you really think this is about surgery..."

"Cristina, I can not do this or focus with you standing in here! Or Meredith being in here for that matter either! I can't think straight!" he interrupts Cristina, yelling. Cristina and Meredith leave the OR. I take a deep breath and continue to try not to cry.

"So you guys do have a plan right? Do you happen to have a way to get me out of here?" I ask Dylan. He doesn't say anything to me, he just stares back at me, which is how I know he does not have a plan.

Burke is now sitting on a chair in the OR, watching me. Dylan is also watching while he called someone else to come up to pump the ambu bag for me. "Is this the strangest thing that's ever happened in your OR?" I ask Burke.

"I'd have to say that it is," he tells me while nodding.

"Good thing, because I'm very competitive about my surgeries," I tell him, forcing out a stiff laugh.

"All of the best surgeons are," Burke says. Dylan pulls Burke to the side and they whisper to each other.

"Stop it you two. I'm not a patient here," I tell them. They stop whispering to each other and look up.

"What?" Dylan asks.

"The two of you are looking at me the way we look at patients when we have to tell them bad news. Like I'm going to freak out at any given minute. I'm not going to freak out so whatever it is just tell me straight out," I assure them.