Lover // g. o'malley

Crash Into Me

We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good for the world. We go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride. But what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is, the pain we caused to fail or cure, the lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience, too often, is ass-backwards and upside down.

I get to the hospital with Cristina in the morning and we go straight to the ambulance bay like Bailey paged us to do. She's already arguing with Izzie over cardio. I peek my head out and two ambulances are flying down the corner, not slowing down at all.

"You guys, I think we should move out of the way," I suggest. Cristina and Izzie dont hear me over their arguing though.

"Let go of the gurney!" Izzie yells at Cristina.

"You let go first!"

"Move it!" I yell as the ambulance flies at full speed. The sirens are blasting so I just pull both of them back and move out of the way.

Once I pulled them back, I looked up and the second ambulance slammed into the first one. The first ambulance flipped over onto its roof and the three of us moved back, in shock.

After a few seconds of screaming, Bailey and Callie run out to help us. "Call the fire department! Get some gurneys out here!" Bailey orders.

"Ray, Ray can you hear me?" Cristina asks the one driver.

"Stan? Stan? Oh my god. Stan, open your eyes, man. Oh, man. Don't scare me like that," Ray says as Stan begins to open his eyes.

"Let's get you guys out of there," I say, trying to sound calm so they don't panic any more than they already are.

"No, stop. Stop! Do not touch anything. Don't touch anything until fire stabilizes the rig. These doors aren't going to budge," Callie tells me. I back away from the scene.

"Uh, Torres, I need your help here! Get the driver!" Bailey yells.

"Okay, on my way!" Callie yells back before turning around towards me. "All right, listen up Rachel. Just page somebody to help you and try to keep them talking. You got this right?" she asks me.

"Yeah," I nod my head, not really sure if I do got this or not.

"Don't leave me. Don't," Stan says to me.

"Okay, I won't. Somebody page the Chief for me!" I yell out.

After a few minutes of waiting, the Chief comes outside with Stan's wife, Sara. He brings her out to the ambulance bay and she kneels down next to Stan, gently holding his hand.

"I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not leaving here without you. Okay?" the wife softly speaks, rubbing his hand.

"I've never seen her before," I mumble, looking at Richard.

"What?" he asks me.

"I've never seen her before. I've worked in this hospital for a long time, and before today, she was a complete stranger to me."

"It happens Dr. Lopez. It's a pretty big hospital."

"I've never met her before, and yet, I'm the person who just handed her the worst day of her entire life. In her story, that's who I am. That's who I'll always be to her."

"That's the job Rachel," Richard tells me, still whispering so the wife can't overhear us.

"That's the job, I know, I know."