Lover // g. o'malley

Didn't We Almost Have it All?

Being an intern is all about the experience. Every patient feels like your own, whether you're the one who cut them open or not. The scalpel stops with you. You need to be able to look at a family and tell them your team did everything they could to save someone's child, their husband, their wife. You get caught up taking care of other people's families. You take care of other people's families, and you sacrifice your own for that.

The bachelorette party is still happening at Meredith's house while we all try to help Cristina with writing her vows. "I thought I was going to hate this party game thing, but it's actually kinda great. Can we set her on fire after?" Cristina asks us, motioning to Meredith, who is getting wrapped in toilet paper.

"No, we cannot set Meredith on fire," Meredith says, talking about herself in the third person.

"Okay, these wedding vows are not all going to fit on here," I say, holding up Cristina's hand.

"Okay, then write smaller Lopez," Cristina says.

"Just be as still as possible please. The word vow just became cow," I tell her, trying to wipe it off with my spit.

"You don't need vows written on your hand. When you get up there, just speak straight from the heart," Izzie tells Cristina.

"Uh, Izzie, the heart is an organ. It pumps, it circulates blood, it gets clogged from time to time. It does not, however, speak. It doesn't have tiny little lips on it," Cristina says, rolling her eyes.

"Well you're all glass totally empty aren't you?" Izzie asks.

"I'm gonna to like being a married woman. It's the whole wedding part of this that's ridiculous," Cristina says. While I'm writing the vows on Cristina's hand and Izzie is wrapping Meredith in a toilet paper dress, all of our pagers go off except for Cristina's. "Oh! Party's over," Cristina says, not sounding too disappointed.

"Damn," I sarcastically mumble, hoping nobody else will pick up on my tone of voice.

"Hey, mine didn't go off. What a piece of crap," Cristina says. We all say our goodbyes and leave with Cristina going back home and the rest of us going back to the hospital.

Once we get to the hospital, Bailey walks up to all of us. "Listen up. Uh, Lopez, you're with Sloan and Shepherd today. Stevens, you're going to be with Burke. Karev, Addison. Go. Grey... you are with the chief's wife," Bailey orders. As I'm walking down the hall to find Shepherd and Sloan, I see Cristina running past me, asking Bailey why she wasn't paged. I knew she couldn't stay away from this place for long.

As I'm walking to find Shepherd and Sloan, I see George walking down the hall and I run over to him. "George!"

"Hey," he says, stopping what he was doing.

"What I'm about to say is, uh, crazy, and, uh, I am not a responsible person. I am basically saying this against my will. Because I am a surgeon, okay? I really do love my job. I love my life exactly as it is at this very moment. Okay? Exactly as it is. Do you understand what I'm saying to you right now?" I ask him, hoping he's catching on.

"Not really," he says, slightly shrugging his shoulders.

"I have no desire to house a human being in my body for nine long months and then to push it out and raise it. Okay? None. Zero," I tell him.

"Okay?"

"Except housing a human for nine long months is all that I can think about at the moment. The thoughts are invading the surgeries that I love, and it's hormonal. Very hormonal. And it's horrible. But it's happening to me," I admit to him.