2.1.53

Chapter Eleven : November winds

November air always carries a hint of winter, a hint of loss and a hint of sadness in it. I always hated the endless cold feeling of winter, I was more of an August fan- each day a little more surprising than the last, one day it might rain, one day might turn out a bit chilly and one day there will be excessive heat. I fell in love with her in August, on a particularly hot day. It was feeling love at first sight and then slowly falling in love with her on the days that followed. I remember everything about those days but sometimes I feel like I shouldn't.

Prinita was walking beside me, towards the nearest bus stop. She used to live only a few blocks earlier, but she changed her pin code after that fateful day. Her new house was located some 6 odd miles south of my house.

"Umm so how is life?" She broke the silence after walking for about a minute in silence.

"Just surviving. How about yours?" I asked even though I wanted to tell her exactly how miserable I was.

"Pretty good. The job is well paying, my office is nearby, I have a great roommate" she replied.

We weren't looking at each other. She was looking forward and I kept my eyes fixated on the ground below.

"A boy?" I asked without thinking.

"Does it matter?" she said, her voice stern like it always used to be.

I kept silent, I was after all the one at fault in asking her about it. I was no longer anyone she would be accountable too.

"No, my roommate is a girl. Merilyn. Nice girl, works in a clothing company. Oh and she loves books, her whole room is filled with it. Let me know if I should set you up with her" She said, the line between sarcasm and seriousness unrecognizable.

I smiled in return, perhaps she didn't even look at me to know it miffed me in some rusty old corner of my heart.

"How are your folks?" I asked, we covered a block by then.

"Pretty good. I am looking to get transferred to my hometown but there are not a lot of choices in the present economy, is it?" She said.

Economy, politics, governance were the only things she saw in society. Whereas I was always looking at kindness, empathy, emotions in society. Perhaps her north pole was too far away from my southern one and with time the distance kept on increasing until they couldn't even recognize each other.

Another block was covered and we were at the crossroad. The bus stop was straight of us but on the right is the way to the park, the place of where our love – bloomed, grew and withered.

"Umm the park is close" I stopped before crossing the road and said, without thinking, without being too loud.

"I don't want to go. Besides I have a lot of projects to finish" She said, her eyes fixated on the road beneath, her voice softer.

There was silence for a few moments, none of us moved a step. I wanted to insist her but then again, I had no right to do so anymore. After a minute or so, she started walking again and I followed. There was not a lot of traffic, an occasional vehicle or two. She walked straight towards the bus stop, I was just behind her. But then suddenly she turned right and said, "But not for too long"

I just needed a moment; to capture memories of parting from each other. I remember everything about us like all of it just happened a day before but I didn't have a memory of her saying goodbye. It all happened over a phone call. I remember the phone call but I always wanted to know how she looked like when she said goodbye to me for the first time, for the last time.

We entered the park and found our bench. We sat there on the corner to each other, the distance of a heartbreak between us. Back then on some occasions, when both of us were overwhelmed by emotions other than love, we used to sit in silence on that very bench. That day was the same, the only thing different was the love was no more there, at least for one of us.