2.1.53

Chapter Twenty-One: Intoxication

Uncertainty of death wasn't new to me, everyday I wake up early just to make sure she is right there with me. Every checkup feels like walking up to a dead-end, something I knew I will have to face eventually. And I was preparing myself for it yet with all the preparation and knowing the uncertainty I was standing there in the entrance in numbness. All I had at that moment were our memories playing in the back of my head in a constant loop.

I heard a round of applause inside the auditorium which broke my trance, another song ended and I was yet to fully comprehend the situation.

What if I wake up tomorrow and there is no one on the other side of the bed? What if the next dosages of chemo make her body too weak for her to hug me again?

I turned to go inside. As I was entering I heard the singer announcing that it would be the last performance for the night. I made my way through the crowd and saw her still gawking at the sight on the stage. I sat next to her, she asked what happened and I replied it was from work.

The moments that followed felt like a dream or a hallucination. The singer was singing his magnum opus, a sad song about the absence of his lover. Her eyes teared up and so did mine, although for different reasons. The moment felt like seconds passing away. I don't even remember when the song ended and when the applauding ended and when the singer left the stage.

"I guess you are a Praneet Kapoor fan from now?" She asked.

"Yes... Yeah" I said as my trance broke.

I wiped my tears as we walked with the crowd of people. Nothing else mattered at that moment except her. I held her hands in the crowd so tight as if she would disappear the moment it stopped touching. We waited outside until the whole crowd disappeared until we were the only two people in the road.

"I had so much fun, I wish it never ended" She told me as she kept swinging our arms.

I smiled at her. I too wanted the same.

"The night is still young" I said.

"What do you have in mind?" She asked.

"I don't know. Lets just walk around and see if there is something" I replied.

So, we started walking towards the hotel, our fingers still intertwined with each other. We reached the hotel parking lot and searched for our car. Fortunately, I took the car keys when I was leaving for the auditorium. It took us a few minutes to find our vehicle but we were soon out from the hotel and off into the night.

I was driving and she was sitting on the passenger seat, going through the photos we clicked on my phone. She talked about how some photos looked cute and how others looked bad, how she had the best night.

We were on the road for about 10 minutes when we found a pub. It had been quite a while since we visited and my mind was constantly banging at the back that we should enjoy until our days runs over. So, we both agreed to see what the ambiance was inside.

We entered the pub after parking the car. The music wasn't too loud to give a headache yet it was loud enough to envelope any other noise.

"Let's have drinks?" I asked her, bringing my face close to hers.

"Yeah. I would love that" She replied back, almost screaming.

We went up to the bartender and she took charge of ordering some fancy cocktail. The bartender quickly whipped up the drink while showing some of his tricks with the bottle. We clinked the glasses and took a sip.

The drink felt warm at first but then it started to burn the insides of my throat. I gulped a second sip thinking it would be better, it wasn't. She laughed looking at my expressions and then continued to chug down the entire glass.

I wondered if it still burned her throat, and if so why did she liked to put herself through it. I wondered why did people got addicted to anything in the first place? Perhaps it gave them a feeling of being alive. Then my mind went on to think about what was keeping me alive? The only answer that came was Prinita. Perhaps she was my addiction.

The music changed into a song we both knew. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. I sucked at dancing, yet she still showed me how to move and we ended up dancing on the next song as well.

She went to grab another drink and so I followed. Shots of tequila. We gulped down, our throats burned, and we felt alive. The song kept on changing, the shots kept on pouring and we kept on downing.

I was not a heavy drinker but I was decent enough to know where my limits were. I was over them in the first thirty minutes. My vision lagged, my feet felt weak and my fear started to go away. I was in that moment, drunk and in love with the most beautiful girl I have came across and she was in love with me and that is all that mattered.

"I think you have had enough" Prinita told me in my ears.

I nodded. I was actually feeling dizzy.

"Let's get out of here for a drive. I am driving, you are not in a state to drive now" She said and gulped down a last shot of tequila.

I promptly gave my car keys and the debit card. She paid our bills and we were out of there in a matter of a few minutes. My balance was off so I held her hand tightly. The lights outside the bar were so bright than the dark ambiance of the inside that it was frustrating. We wobbled and made our way to the car.

I sat on the passenger seat and Prinita took the wheel. We started laughing when she struggled to put the key in. When she did, we were off to the same road we were following in the beginning. It was half-past midnight, there were no other vehicles in sight. We put our windows down and sped up, just to feel the cold air of midnight hitting our warm faces.

We started screaming the lyrics of the song we were dancing to. I could feel my inhibitions getting lower by each passing minute. My hands were all over her body. She tried to protest but couldn't do much because she had to focus on driving.

"This is the best night of my life" She screamed.

"This is the best night of our life" I screamed back.

She sped up a bit more on the straight road. She started telling each other how we should do this more often and how this vacation was much needed. I nodded back failing to talk because of how heavy my head was feeling. I realized I have had a few too many drinks.

I don't remember how long we were driving for. Time didn't matter to us, we didn't have much in hand either, so we were just doing the things that we wanted to do.

She was laughing, the light inside the car was off, but the small light from the dashboard and the reflection of the headlight from the road illuminated both of our faces. She looked like something too perfect to be even considered humane. My eyes were closing off, yet her laughter was keeping me awake.

"I love you" I blurted out

"I love you too" She said and hunched forward until our lips met for a second and she drew back, laughing.

"Thanks for saving me that day" I blurted out again, my inhibitions were wearing off.

"Which day?" She asked.

"That day in the park, I was there for a reason" The only thing I had in my mind was her smile and her eyes.

"What reason?" I heard her voice but couldn't see her lips moving.

And then there was a bright light, almost blinding me and perhaps Prinita as well. It was followed by a large sound, almost like a siren blaring. I half covered my eyes with my hand and squinted to look what it was. But until we both registered it, it was too close to us.

A semi-ton truck was just before our eyes. Time seemed to stop at that moment and then flatten and stretched. My intoxication was gone in that split second, I tried to grab the steering wheel but before I could reach for it I felt something hitting my ribs and immediately after that I saw a steel shrapnel hitting the window. Prinita tried dodging it but the airbag didn't let her move.

Another crack on the glass and there was blood and I tried to find her hand but I couldn't. The pain in my chest finally registered in my brain. I could see her hand still on the steering wheel, bloodied, and then there was her scream and then there was silence.