2.1.53

Chapter Seventeen: Other side

The sunlight peeped in through the gaps between the curtains and lit a part of the room. The first thing that came in sight was the open window and the bougainvillea tree outside. The sounds of birds chirping outside could be clearly heard. It took me a couple of moments to understand where I was but then the memories of the night before hit me.

I turned around and found an empty bed. In the half sleepy state, the only reasons that my mind could imagine were an early morning shower or an early morning jog. But it was none. I sat up on the bed and found nothing left of her. She was gone, there was no clothes, no bag, nothing of her in that room. I felt smaller even in that small hotel room, I laid down on the bed again. I stared at the ceiling long enough to make my vision hazy and then the emotions finally flowed.

If it was any other day or any other person I would have thanked God to make her leave earlier than me. This leaving a person with a promise of someday again was the hardest thing I had to encounter in the lifestyle I was leading. I never called those girls back or got back together for another such encounter. But she was not just any girl. I had to admit my intentions with her were the same old in the beginning but I didn't remember when I have transitioned from a one-night stand to an actual feeling inside of me.

For the first time in my life, I felt alone, lost, and perhaps empty. Getting out of the bed felt like an enormous task, dressing up and then looking at the small hotel room had its own increased sadness. For the first time in my life I was closer to what people termed as 'love' and I lost it. Perhaps this was what some of the girls I had been with felt, perhaps no one did, perhaps all of them did.

I checked out of the hotel and sheepishly made my way to the parking lot. Once inside my car I lost all the wish to go home. I just wanted to sit there in my car processing whatever was going with my life.

I remember when I was six or seven, my mom taught me that 'never do bad to people because karma sooner or later accounts for everything'. I didn't understand it that time and after that never bothered to learn about it. I never believed in luck or some higher power accounting for all my deeds. I mean if there is a higher power who controls everything then he is behind the bad as well. And if he is not the reason for everything then perhaps he was not so higher in power. But sitting in the car with my heartbroken over a girl I met a day earlier, felt like some higher power or the universe itself punishing me for all the bad I did.

I was soon bothered when my phone started ringing. The number was unknown, perhaps some agent or publisher I have shared my contact info with.

"Hello" I said in the most normal tone I could come up with in that moment.

"It is not my habit to call my one-night stands the day after but you were special" The voice that came from the other side was soft and familiar. Prinita.

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say anymore. I didn't want to say anything.

"But there was something about you Shritabha. I spent the entire night thinking that maybe I can just run away from home and live with you. I didn't want to leave, you were special and you made me feel special but I know even if I run very far my past, my family will catch up to me and I don't want that, not for you" Her voice turned raspy, perhaps she was crying on the other side.

"I remember thinking of you as my target while standing at that roadside but I don't remember when I started developing feelings for you. Maybe it was between you smiling at me for no reason and you make me feel like I was not bounded by my past. Or maybe between hunting for cheap goods and spending a priceless evening... Are you there?" She asked.

I had many things to speak about, many questions to ask, many feelings to confess but all I could say was, "Yes"

"I am sorry for whatever I did. I hope you forgive me. Thank you for letting me live for one day and thank you for understanding me" I could hear her sobbing.