2.1.53

Chapter Twenty-Two: Old Town

The memories came back to me again, I could even hear the slow hum of the death machine and the only thing that kept revolving around me was a new question- Is fighting for living grimmer than death itself? Is the uncertainty of life more depressing than death itself?

I had no answer, I wished if I could know what happened to Prinita in that simulation. Because in the end, the one thing I wanted more than a perfect death was making sure she was alive, even if it is in a simulation.

The green letters appeared, the same question about my choice of death. I had a clear answer in my mind. I pressed 'NO'.

The injection pushed into the skin on the back of my head, I could feel something being filled into it. I wondered how long it will take me to find my peaceful death. Or to be precise how long I had until I run out of time and the poison kills me.

"I am amazed by you" I heard Rino's voice.

"Is it?" I asked.

"Umhu" He replied in the affirmative.

"I have another question" I said.

"Go on" He said, his voice seemed close to me.

I felt a cold touch on my fingers. I tried holding it and understood it was glass.

"You must be thirsty, go on say what you had in mind" Rino said after handing me the glass.

I took a sip, it was water. I gulped down the rest in a swig. He took back the glass from my hands

"What if I run out of time, I mean the poison is taking away five years from my life so what if I run out of life?" I asked.

There was a moment of silence.

"Unfortunately, we can't tell you the details about it" He said, his voice again returned to the over-professional and cold one I knew.

I remained silent. Does he not have an answer or is there anything he is hiding from me, some grim or hurtful?

"Are you ready to begin again" Rino's voice broke my train of thoughts.

"Uhh.. Uh.. Yes. I am" I said.

"Okay" Rino said.

The machine hummed to life, the headset felt heavy on my face. I closed my eyes yet I could feel the green hue falling on my face. And then the glow disappeared in a sea of darkness.

-----

My eyes opened to the rotating creaky ceiling fan of my small room. The first ray of morning sun was falling on my face. I struggled to turn as I felt my back acting up like every morning. But the worst thing was the headache I woke up with. I slowly got up from my bed and grabbed my pair of glasses from the bedside table.

The window was on the right side of the room. I walked up to it and tried to breathe in a lung full of fresh air. But all I get was an artificial air that smelled of machinery and artificiality and maybe a little bit of sadness. I heard a faint sound of some birds chirping in the distance, which was the closest thing to nature I could have found in the town.

I tried stretching my arms which in turn made my back hurt a little more, so I decided to skip it and went straight to freshen up for the day. I grabbed my brush and put on toothpaste and started brushing, staring at the reflection of myself in the bathroom mirror

Every day when I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, I feel a dread of existence staring back at me. Everyday when I see my wrinkled face and receding hairline with the few streaks of gray hair, I question what I have done in the past 6o years of my living. I feel all my failures and regrets catching up to me. All I had now was my little shop and a lifetime of memories to think and be sad about. But before it makes me want to go back to sleep, I complete my brushing and wash out my regrets and mistakes and a part of my sadness.