Scars Left Untold

Motherhood

Quick side note:

-this chapter contains content of domestic abuse and panic attacks

-anytime I reference "the boys" I'm referring to the band

-also, I've been made aware that sometimes the POV is difficult to follow, so from here on out I will be sure to make you aware of who's POV you're in and eventually I will go back and fix that

Back to your regularly scheduled program!

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When I met Jack and Lavender, I never expected my life to take the turn that it did. I lived a quiet life as a dance teacher and now I'm living in the spot light always under scrutiny for what I wear and do and say, but it's all worth it in the end. At the end of the day, I've got everything I need. I've got Jack, Lavender, and now Jacob.

I went into labour later that night after Jack proposed. I had the baby the next morning and now I'm recovering in my hospital room. When I had Jacob, I thought I would have this immediate bond with him, but if anything, I don't feel anything. I hate that I feel this way and I don't want to tell Jack because he definitely had clicked with Jacob.

Jack was taking Lavender to lunch and I was left alone with Jacob. I'm just staring at him trying to feel something, anything, but I can't.

"Ms. Thomson?" I hear someone ask as they enter my room.

"Yes?" I reply turning my head to look at the door.

"I'm Doctor Tailor, I'm a therapist here at the hospital." He says introducing himself. and shaking my hand. "You're primary doctor asked me to come talk to you. She just wanted me to check on you."

"Oh, okay." I say.

"I understand that in the accident a few months ago you lost two of your babies," He starts and nod. "It's not uncommon in situations like these for a mother after birth to suffer from PPD."

"PPD?" I question.

"Postpartum Depression." He tells me.

"I don't think it's anything that extreme," I tell him. "But it's something."

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"I look at Jacob and I don't feel anything. I want to, I really do, but I just can't." I confess as I look back over at Jacob.

"Anything else you can think of?" He asks me, brining my attention back to him.

"No, just that."

"Well, I don't believe you have Postpartum Depression, but it's only been a day. And for your situation, it's completely normal for you to feel like this." He tells me. "I'd like set up some sessions if that would be okay with you."

"Yeah." I tell him.

We talk some more about what he specializes in and set up some dates for the next month to meet and as he leaves Jack comes back with Lavender.

"Who was that?" Jack asks putting Lavender down, allowing her to run over to the chair in the corner of the room.

"That was Doctor Tailor, he specializes in Postpartum Depression." I tell him. Jack stands in place and looks stunned and shocked, so I quickly calm him. "Not that I have it, but to make sure I don't. He heard about the accident and the loss and has offered me help to prevent it."

"Oh, okay. That makes sense." Jack says a bit relieved. He puts Lavenders bag by the chair she finally pulled herself onto.

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