Ms.Ryan

Chapter 31

Serenas POV: 

Have you ever really thought about the concept of family? I mean, it's weird if you ask me. It's just this group of people that are all supposed to love one another for no other reason besides sharing the same blood. But what if it's those same people that cause you the most pain. We all have such high expectations for family. We expect them to love us unconditionally, to support everything we do, to be there to pick us up when we're down and laugh with us when we're up. But no one ever real talks about what you're supposed to do when those things don't work out. Society has created so many broken people by giving them these unfair expectations that lead us to feel worthless and rejected when they don't follow through. 

I was staring at my ceiling thinking of how different my life could have been had I grown up with my mom. Would I be the same person? I have no idea, but I can''t help but wonder. 

Why did she choose to abandon me? Was I not good enough? Did she not love me enough? 

I rolled over onto my side and came face to face with a very peaceful looking Sophia. After last night she insisted on sleeping with me and I honestly didn't have the energy to protest. We didn't do much anyway. I was in no mood to talk and she knew it so she basically just held me in her arms until I fell asleep. 

It was now around 4 in the morning and she was still fast asleep. I unfortunately found myself wide awake. I couldn't seem to quiet my mind long enough to get myself back to bed but I didn't want to disturb her. 

I carefully rolled out of bed and headed downstairs to make some coffee since I had accepted my defeat in getting anymore sleep. 

Once the coffee was brewing I grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the counter and made my way out to the deck. 

The sun hadn't risen yet but it was just starting to get lighter out. The morning air was crisp and somehow managed to calm my nerves a little, that and the nicotine. 

I thought of the girl sleeping in my bed and how she had held me through the night. Truth was I felt safe in her arms, I felt like I could go to bed with her for the rest of my life and never be bored. Normally that would be a great thing but right now, all I could feel was terrified. 

The words of the police officers played in my head and I remembered the feeling after they had told me. It was the kind of feeling most people who are lucky enough will only have to experience a handful of times throughout their life. It was the same feeling I had the day I put my dad in the ground and then again for my mom. Yet, this was somehow worse. It was pain but mixed with betrayal and I had convinced myself I would never let anyone make me feel that way ever again. And that anyone included Sophia. 

I knew she was different than any other girls I'd messed with before. She was special, but right now I couldn't take that chance. I had to protect myself. I couldn't allow Sophia to get the chance to break me even more. 

I put out my cigarette and headed back inside pouring myself a cup of coffee and sitting at the counter as I consumed the hot liquid. Some time had passed and it was now around 5:30. I heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Sophia headed towards me. She was wearing short shorts and her shiny black hair was pulled into a messy bun that gave me a great view of her face. She looked stunning and it made what I was about to do that much harder. 

She walked over to me giving me a small smile before speaking, 

"Good morning" she said in a raspy voice. 

I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact so I just stared into my coffee. 

"Morning" I said, my mind clearly preoccupied. 

"Is everything okay?" she asked and this was the moment I was dreading. I didn't want to hurt her but I knew I would anyway. I contemplated what I would say next before realizing I already knew how this would go. I was an expert at it after all. 

"All good" I stood then bringing my mug to the sink and turning to face her. 

"Listen I have to go see Carmen so I'm gonna head out" I said still refusing to meet her gaze. 

She was clearly thrown off by my demeanor but I was praying she would just let it go.

"Okay?" she furrowed her brow, "Are you sure you're alright... you seem off." 

She was looking at me with concern now and I knew I just needed to rip the bandaid off. I finally looked up at her while slightly grinning, "Im fine, I'll see you" and with that I grabbed my keys and headed out the door without another word. 

Sophia's POV: 

After Serena had basically ditched me in her house this morning, I drove back to my own to get ready for school. I was now making my way into the building preparing to greet my homeroom.

Hopefully Serena would be on time today because I definitely wanted to talk about why she was acting so strangely. I mean I know she had a really rough night but she seemed like she wasn't herself and that had me concerned. 

Student began filling in and I impatiently waited for the blonde to come into view. When I saw Carmen and Andre with no Serena my heart dropped for the second time in less than 24 hours. 

The late bell rang and I began taking attendance. I tapped my foot anxiously waiting for the bell to ring again signaling the end of homeroom so I could talk to Carmen. 

10 minutes felt like 10 hours and I released a breathe I didn't realize I was holding when the high-pitched shriek filled my ears. 

Carmen was walking past my desk when I called out to her,

"Carmen can I have a word please"

She gave me a look that said she already knew exactly what I was going to ask. 

"Do you happen to know where Serena is, I'm worried about her." I said while nervously playing with the ring on my finger. 

Her dark brown hair was pulled up into a loose bun and there were dark circles under her eyes. She admittedly looked like she had gotten no sleep at all. 

"No Ms. Adams, I don't know where Serena is." 

I found that really hard to believe considering they were attached at the hip but I didn't want to openly call her a liar. 

I sighed and looked down at the floor. 

"Okay, thanks Carmen" 

She gave me a weak smile before heading out the door. 

'well, I'll just have to wait until 3rd period' I thought to myself.