Captain Dexter Grif walked down the streets of Armonia.
Soldier 1: Good morning, Captain Grif!
Grif: Hey.
Soldier 2: Good morning, Captain Grif!
Grif: Yeah.
Mathews: Oh, oh! Captain Grif!
Grif: *sighs* Yes Mathews?
Mathews: Hey! Uh, uh. . . I just want to say, uh, thanks again for everything you and the other Reds and Blues did for us. If you guys hadn't shut down that radio jammer, we'd be dead!
Grif: Gosh Mathews, I really appreciate that! Almost as much as I did the other FIFTY-SIX TIMES YOU THANKED ME!
Mathews: Oh good, I was worried it might start to come off as annoying.
Grif: It does. That was sarcasm.
Mathews: Just gonna repress that!
Grif: What?
Mathews: Oh, Captain Grif! Uh, good to see you. I wanted to thank you for-
Grif: Ugh. . . Look, do you know where Kimball is? I need to talk to her.
Mathews: Kimball? I'm pretty sure I saw her in the armory a little while ago. . .
Grif: Great. Thanks. *leaves*
Mathews: Do you need an escort?
Grif: NO!
*Armonia - Armory*
Simmons and Kaikaina were manning the station in front of the armory, handing out weapons to the soldiers, which there was a very long line of.
Simmons: Alright, explain to me again. Why do you need a fifty-caliber chaingun?
Gunman: Because. . . I'm a gunman?
Simmons: Yeah, I know, I get that, you keep saying that. I mean, why do you need it right now?
Rebel: Hey G-man, hurry up!
Gunman: Well, I mean, how else are people gonna know what I do around here?
Simmons: You're a soldier! Everyone's a soldier! You shoot at people who shoot at you, until one of you dies from all the shooting.
Kaikaina: Simmons, shut the fuck up and give the guy the fucking gun.
Simmons: He doesn't need it!
Kaikaina: It's our job to hand out guns, you fucking idiot!
Simmons: Well yeah, but why does he need that gun exactly?
Kaikaina: He just said it! He's a gunman! That means he's trained to use a fucking chaingun!
Gunman: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Without my big gun, I just look like all the regular soldiers.
Simmons: No, you don't! You've got white armor and red stripes!
Donut then popped up between the Yellow and Maroon soldiers.
Donut: Ugh, and they're just awful! I'm thinking we go bold, maybe red armor with white stripes.
Gunman: Huh?
Kaikaina: You shut the hell up too, Donut.
Simmons: *sighs* Besides, just because you're in charge of uniforms, doesn't mean you get to redecorate the entire army. Besides, that would completely ruin his camouflage.
Donut: What camouflage?
Simmons: . . . Huh. . . Good point. How the hell have you not been shot yet?
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: The Finale
FanfictionRed Vs Blue, but with a twist! With the people of Chorus united, the Reds and Blues have only one final threat to handle, Charon and it's mercenaries. . . . The OC Ruby Andria belongs to me. Red Vs Blue belongs to "Rooster Teeth."
