Love is Blind || c.h.

11 • Screw Up

Alex's POV

Clouds are so boring.

As a child I always envied all my friends who could stare up at the clouds for hours and point out shapes in them, something I had never been able to do. Perhaps I lacked the creativity, or interest, to find the alien riding a horse over a sleeping old lady.

Yet here I was, laying across the grass in the park by my house, staring at the clouds.

I had tried going out on a run, but that was utterly pointless. After about five minutes of running, I gave up and collapsed onto the cool grass. My arms and legs were completely sprawled out, giving me a weird sense, almost like I was floating.

Ever since yesterday with Calum, it was like I couldn't do anything without remembering how much of a screw up I am. There was a constant pit in my stomach, a reminder of how I hurt him.

Why did I ever think it was a good idea to kiss Calum to get back at Nick? I had to of known it would upset him.

I continued to stare at the blinding bright blue sky and the spiraling clouds. There was nothing really to see. Nothing to feel.

I closed my eyes, soaking in the emptiness of the park, aside from a few ants which I could feel crawling on my legs. A cool breeze brushed over my body, causing me to shiver a bit, but I didn't retract my arms and legs.

A cold, wet sensation came across my nose, causing me to nearly scream. My eyes immediately opened, and I saw Hercules, who was now feverishly licking my nose. At first I was ecstatic to see Hercules, but then I remembered that where he was, another was sure to follow.

I froze, scared to look up and see him, I wasn't ready to face Calum, I hadn't wallowed in enough self hatred yet. But when I finally did look it was not at all who I expected.

"Candice?" I asked, sitting up abruptly. "What are you doing with Hercules?"

She took a seat next to me on the grass. "Calum is sick in bed so Joy asked me to take Hercules for a walk. "She actually came over to ask you, but you weren't home."

I shook my head lightly.

"I highly doubt Calum would want me walking his dog anyways."

"Why not?" She looked at me curiously.

"I screwed up big time, Candice," I sighed.

"Tell me what happened," she said, placing a hand on my knee. "I thought that you guys were like two little peas in a pod ever since he moved here?"

"Two peas in a pod? Really?" I laughed, but she was right. We really had been like two peas in a pod, immediately latching onto one another since the beginning. All until I had used him for my own advantage. The pit in my stomach grew bigger as I continued thinking about how I had completely disregarded his feelings in every way possible.

"Yes really," Candice replied. "So what happened?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Now we both know that's not true," she said. I smiled because she knew me so well. Candice was basically my second mom, always there for me when I need her.

I told Candice what happened, never looking her in the eye out of shame and embarrassment over my childish actions. After I told her she didn't say anything. Instead we sat in silence for a minute or two. I closed my eyes as I waited for her response, leaning my head back to better feel the cool breeze that was coming through. Finally Candice spoke.

"Wow you really screwed up," was all she said.

"Gee thanks, you always know exactly what to say to make me hate myself."