Pandemonium | Dream SMP

39. I was born wearing it and I'm going to die wearing it.

"How's the crowd lookin'?" Schlatt questions, pulling the tie tight around his neck—only to loosen it and try again.

"A lot of people have shown up," I state, watching his trouble with amusement, my hands folded neatly behind my back and freshly pressed suit.

"Good. Good. This is not going to be a speech they'll want to miss- ah! For fucks sake this fuckin' tie!"

He throws his hands up in exasperation and I give a short laugh.

"How are you so bad at knotting your own tie?" I marvel, gesturing for him to step back from the large mirror hung on the office wall. He does so and I step forward, reaching up for his tie.

"Fuck if I know. My hands are too big for this sort of fiddly bullshit."

"Well, it's good to know there's still something you need me for." I hum, and with a swift flick of my fingers, the red fabric is tied.

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Are you ready to face the masses? Everyone is already out there waiting."

"Mm, they can wait a few more minutes."

"Oh?"

The man reaches out and gives my tie a small tug, adjusting it around my neck. "You look good in blue," he hums, letting the silk blue tie slip between his fingers. "I still want to see you in red, though. Fuck, I shoulda got you a red tie."

"Then buy me one," I smirk, "Or you could just let me wear your tie?"

Schlatt's nose scrunches up in disapproval. "Fuck no, this is my tie. I was born wearing it and I'm going to die wearing it. Although..." he wiggles his eyebrows, a smirk crossing his lips. "I suppose I could trade it for a kiss."

"Oh, okay! I'll go grab Quackity." I tease.

"Oy!"

I laugh lightly, raising a hand to try and hide my smile. This is nice. It's so quiet here with just us in the office. Sharing our usual banter. But I know it can't last.

"We really should be going now," I say again, stepping away and pulling my suit jacket from the back of a sofa. I throw it over my shoulders, and it sits against my back like a cloak. Not the intended use for a suit jacket, I know, but it was the most comfortable solution I could find while still allowing me full use of my arms should a fight break out and I need to defend my President.

"Fuck..." Schlatt grumbles and I glance back.

"What?"

"How the hell do you make everything you wear look sexy?"

I roll my eyes, "focus, please. You have a crowd to address."

Schlatt hums and complies, passing me as he leaves the office, stealing a few more glances on the way out.

With my trident in hand, I follow the horned man through L'Manburg, up to the wooden podium, where a sizable crowd has gathered, seated on the wooden chairs set out. The cabinet members are already situated on the podium, sat in their own chairs towards the back of the stage. Lined up with their matching suits and coloured ties, they look quite the formidable group. Even Tubbo, who sits meekly to the side, somehow fits in.

Quackity is practically bouncing in his chair as our President approaches the microphone, straightening out his blood-red tie with a wicked grin.

There's a vacant chair beside Fundy, and as I glance to him he smiles awkwardly, his ears perking up. It looks like he saved the seat for me.

I slip in quietly beside him, resting my trident against a shoulder as we await Schlatt's speech. I feel Fundy keep looking my way. His affections are so obvious that I don't know what to do about them. So instead I turn to my right, where George sits, and I almost laugh.