Pandemonium | Dream SMP

79. I didn't take you for a masochist.

"Ares, babes, what the hell is this?"

I swallow thickly, looking from Schlatt, to Punz, and finally to Dream. Never did I think the day would come where we'd all be gathered under a single roof.

"Relax, J Schlatt," Dream smirks, playing with an ornament over the fireplace. He glances to the horned man, and then to me. "I'm here to help."

Schlatt barks out a laugh, then picks up a glass and throws it.

"Sir," I scold, watching as Dream easily dodges and the glass shatters against the wall.

Furious eyes turn on me as Schlatt points an accusatory finger my way, "Don't you sir me! Is this supposed to be some sort of joke? You do realise the man who wants me dead, an enemy to my country, is stood right over there and you're doing fuck all about it!" His eyes dart over to Punz, who looks about ready to wet himself with nerves. "You too! This is literally what I pay you to do! Has the world gone tits up?!"

"Did you know that two of your cabinet members have joined Pogtopia?" Dream questions casually, wandering from the fireplace over to the twin sofas. He drops down into the cushions and leans back, crossing one leg over the other. "Ah, sorry, ex-cabinet."

"What the fuck is he talking about?" Schlatt turns the question to me and I grimace, fiddling with my trident. Its weight in my hands usually helps, but today it does little to reassure me.

"Quackity and Fundy have joined the opposition, sir. They're actively helping Wilbur and Tommy. I'm afraid they've given up all our secrets."

"Those fucking— I knew I shouldn't have trusted that damn fox. And Quackity, fucking Alex..." Schlatt's glare returns to Dream, "but what the fuck does that have to do with him? And why are you two still stood around like a pair of fuckin' lemons? At least try to do your job."

"Dream really has come to help, sir," I explain nervously, watching Schlatt and preparing myself to duck should he throw something my way. I just hope he buys the lie we're about to tell him. "And quite frankly, we need it."

"The war hasn't even begun, and yet you're already on the losing side, Schlatt." Dream says, "what? You think you can win against an entire rebellion with just these two? Your plaything and some hired help?"

I narrow my eyes at the masked man, annoyed by his choice of words. He'd picked them deliberately knowing I can't say anything with Schlatt in the room. He could call me a bitch and I'd have to stand here and take it. Acting or not, I hope he realises his words carry consequences that I fully plan to carry out once I have him cornered and alone.

"And? Get on with it." Schlatt huffs, folding his arms.

"And I don't find one-sided fights to be entertaining." Dream states.

"Ha! So that's what this is about?" The ram stands and plants his palms to the desk, leaning forward with a nasty grin. "You want to stir shit up by joining the losing side, do you? You bastard. I don't want your help."

"Yes, we do." I interrupt with a scowl, actually catching Schlatt off guard. He's not used to me taking such a tone with him. "Sir, with all due respect, I can't fight an entire army and defend you, even with Punz helping. We have no one left. George is the only member remaining and I doubt he even knows which way up a sword goes."

Dream snickers at my mean words.

"I'm not saying we trust him," I continue, growing more confident as I realise that Schlatt seems to be genuinely listening to me, "I say we hear him out and make a deal that will benefit both sides. Even if it takes all the gold in the treasury, we need to win."