Warmth | ✔️ #wattys2021

30. wednesdays

Adeline wasn't doing much, her days were spend standing up at 12 to find something to eat, that she knew was too small to count as breakfast or lunch at that. Then she was making herself study until late in the night. Her finals were around the corner and she already lost too much time having began too late considering the amount of material she had to go through. Once she started though, she couldn't stop. She knew she needed a good grade and apart from that, when she wasn't busy learning, she would break down.

When her thoughts drifted away or she wasn't preoccupied for a moment, she felt an overwhelming sense of shame, of hate for herself along with deep sorrow. Everything that went wrong between them, was surely her fault. Whenever she though of his disappointed face when she left, pain spread itself out in her entire body. And now, she can't even imagine how he felt when Logan was at her door. She threw him out right after, to be facing the regret she could already have gone through the night before. Adeline wondered what Logan thought of her now but Adam was her main concern.

She thought about calling him, but he probably hated her now. So, she just blindly went on with her routine. Cursing herself once in a while for being such a damn coward and trying to balance life as it is.

Adeline couldn't wait to graduate now only two weeks of exhaustion would be left in which she probably would be sleeping even less. Exams never left easy on her. Nervous nights and jittery mornings and the time after in which she couldn't stop thinking about the mistakes she might have made, killed her. Plus, the student had a feeling this year's exam in Politics would be particularly hard. Once in a while she thought of the future cat she would get, the only thought that made her hold on to something. She knew she would wait until after her graduation, she'd have more time then, for the little creature. It was a bit silly, but she needed it.

Adeline didn't like being alone in their flat, even if she was busy. Nora as most days wasn't home but it got so warm in London now, that the weather mocked her for staying in the whole time. Everyone was out, enjoying the sun and she hated it. She hated when she looked out of her window and saw the countless people wandering through the market. The only days she would leave the house at were Wednesday's to grocery shop and Saturday's because she ran out of small things. A routine she made up for herself just now but was not sure she would keep up with.  She couldn't even visit her favorite coffee shop anymore because Logan worked there.

On Thursday's Nora would always spend the night so it was the only weekday she looked forward to. They ate together and talked a lot, perhaps watched a show on the tv later that night. It made her feel human. Once in a while she was suspicious about what she knew about Adam, that she didn't. She knew she must have been at Jim's and had talked about the incident, she would have asked questions if not. And though she was curious she kept her mouth shut. Which was hard when pictures of him were published where he was seemingly just trying to get home, looking very exhausted. She knew she was to blame for that.

This time Wednesday though, when Adeline came back from her mid-week trip to Sainsbury's Nora was already there. She dropped her bags at their dinner table, next to the chair her friend sat on and greeted her somewhat happily. She didn't answer.

"Hey, everything alright?" She asked and now only saw her teary face.

"What's going on?" Nora's hair was in a messy bun, her mascara a bit smudged and she moved her head down now to avoid eye contact.

Adeline sat down on the ground to be at her height and caressed her tight, she then laid her head on her friend's lap. If she didn't want to talk, she could at least show her a bit of physical affection. Inside her mind though, curiosity got the best of her and she thought of all the possible causes for her sadness. The moment surely lasted for a bit until she began to speak:

"I think, I might be pregnant..." she said silently after a while.

Adeline looked up at her in shock. Their eyes met now for the first time. "Oh." She replied not really knowing what to do with that information. She knew her friend liked kids, but one of her own? It was in neither of their plans for the next five years at least. And she basically just got a new job. What about their flat? She thought but felt selfish soon enough for that thought. Her feelings and concerns were important now.

"Have you taken a test?"

"Not yet but...I've missed my period...twice and I am really nauseous...I-" She hiccupped now and her friend wiped the tears of her face.

"Okay look, I want you to calm down for now yeah? We'll get a test just to make sure and if it turns out to be positive we'll find a way, yeah?" Adeline could take care of the people around her better than most did. She probably didn't even know this but it was one of the traits her friends appreciated most in her. Nora nodded.

Twenty minutes later they sat together in their tiny bathroom. Nora sat on the edge of the bath tub, Adeline hold her hands while sitting on the cold floor and tried to lighten the mood a bit with old stories. The test was sat behind her and the timer on her phone rang. Nora's hands shook for a bit and she breathed way too fast. Adeline felt with her friends and had a hard time being the rock but could keep the cover for now. "Okay, lets see..." she grabbed the test, they chose the expansive one, deciding no was not the time to save money for less quality. Adeline looked down on it and then to her friend. "Love...you are pregnant!"

"Oh shit!" she said with a pained expression. Nora started crying again and her friend wrapped her up into her arms. She sobbed and Adeline knew she couldn't do much now unless being there for her.

It felt like an eternity passed and her crying died down now for the most part. They decided they should call Jim now to break the news. At first Adeline wanted to argue that this was nothing you should confess over the phone but if she was in her place she probably would have done the same.

"Hey, bug what's up?" He asked and it reminded her of the time in March they called him to ask if Nora could tag along. She wished back for that time.

"I- need to tell you something I guess..." Nora said and swallowed.

"Alright then, shoot..." Jim answered and just by his voice that was echoing through the bathroom they could tell he was in a good mood.

"Uhm so...I'm pregnant?" She more of asked then confessed.

Silence. Nora got even more nervous now and Adeline knew she was about to cry again. "Okay..." he sighed. "Are you sure?" He asked and Adeline cringed at that. Please let him say some more, she thought. "Yes Jim, I am sure, can't believe you're asking that." She said now anger in her voice.

"Okay, okay chill yeah? I'll come over! We'll figure it out." They breathed in relief.