Warmth | ✔️ #wattys2021

34. building

It was midday once the noise coming from the living room woke Adeline. Lately she has been struggling with insomnia. Barely getting sleep at night was though on her and she knew it was just another way for her mental health to scream: it's just too much right now.

After having struggled the whole night to rest, around 4 am it would slowly get better and she would be able to sleep. Not perfectly —she'd still wake up way too many times in between but if it was the only sleep she got she would just take it. From there on she often slept until the sun was already at its highest state.

Now it was almost one on another terribly beautiful day and she'd put her headphones in to start the day. It was always the same. She'd go to the bathroom and then into the kitchen to fetch a peach or a yogurt as breakfast to then return to her bed. During the week George would have already left the house and if not so he would be the one that woke her. She knew he was worried and she hated it.

Her song changed to "Dead Boys" by Sam Fender and she changed it immediately while entering the living space.

George sat on the couch with a friend she didn't know as they were playing FIFA or whatever. She greeted them grumpily, not being her best self in the mornings and they distractedly answered, their eyes not leaving the screen. Adeline only wore a big shirt and her short pj' pants as those were the only clothes she could stand the heat in. She knew they were short bit goddamn this was her own home.

She leaned over the couch to watch the game for a second.

"Jamaica against Hungary huh? Very exciting." She said dryly and the man on the left from her flat-mate laughed. Normally she loved every kind of social appropriation she got but these days she couldn't be more bothered. Even if this particular mysterious guy didn't look bad and she might have caught him peaking at her bottom (which just annoyed her).

"Jake, s' nice to meet you." The stranger introduced himself and stretched his hand out over the couch. She shook it but couldn't be more bothered to introduce herself to him and instead said: "Likewise."

"Are you going to visit Nora today?" George asked now firstly looking at her.

"Yeah, should leave soon actually." She said and he noticed the exhaustion that was shown in her face. Her face seemed somewhat dull and was way too white considering it was summer, her eyes small, her hair messy.

"Okay...did you sleep well?" George asked even though he knew the answer.

"Wait you slept till now?" Jake interfered and asked in disbelief. She could hear judgment in the comment too and it pissed her off. Adeline rolled her eyes and went back into her room wordlessly.

An hour later she arrived at Jim's house that now was Nora's too. A thought she still had to get used to like with everything else that happened in the past month. Adeline actually had to put on actual clothes for the first time in weeks. Her motivation stopped at this point though, having decided against brushing her long ginger hair out or putting on makeup. She wore an oversized dark blue shirt and black shorts. Nora asked for her help to set up the crib and of course she was glad to help.

As the two of them sat in the soon to be baby's room with screws, tools and individual parts of wood for the crib around them it was like Nora couldn't stop talking.

Jim was seemingly on a working trip, Adeline wouldn't know anything specific about it as she didn't intern at the company anymore. Perhaps his absence was the reason for her being so talkative. She seemed very happy about the baby now even if the first steps into the first trimester were already hard on her. Adeline still couldn't believe she was really pregnant, there was a human being growing inside her now she'd be responsible of for the rest of their life.

"You know you are going to be the godmother, right?" Nora asked her with a smiley face as she screwed two parts together. Adeline was happy about that, that was a thought that completely passed her until now. She smiled genuinely.

"Am I?"

"Well of course!" Nora answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and they shared a hug while still sitting in their utter chaos. The bump was barely visible or palpable yet on Nora, as if everything was completely normal still.

"Ugh I talked so much, tell me something new now! How is living with George? Not as nice as with me I hope." She teased. It was not like they didn't talk anymore. The two of them would talk over the phone at least three times a week but not really seeing each other as often was difficult. They knew the most important things about one another but nothing in the depths.

"Not at all! I mean he is really kind and I love his cooking but he is so messy from time to time!" She shook her head.

"You tell me! Jim is a nightmare when it comes to tidiness. Wish I would've known that before! But I have to say since he knows he's going to be a dad I see so much of his...like..responsible, I-can-take-care-of-anything-side coming out and I find that so hot!" Nora stated.

"Well if you find that hot then don't go and work for him! He was like that all the time at work!"

"Might have to think about that! He forced me to set this thing up before the second trimester which is way too early but here we are!" She joked but changed the tone in her next sentence. "So how are you feeling beside from all that flat changing stuff?" Nora looked at her sadly. "You look exhausted."

"Thank you." Adeline answered dryly and the same moment thought that this conversation should actually be held the other way around.

"You know what I mean, love. I just care about you." She argued.

Adeline looked down, she hoped she wouldn't notice and grabbed the smaller screwdriver to do at least something in this situation.

"Just...have been struggling to get good sleep once in a while." It wasn't a lie just not the full truth.

"Right." Nora pretended to play dumb but then added: "Why is that?" Because she knew there was more behind it. Adeline kept quiet but she knew anyway.

"You know he's coming back by the end of next week...What about you tell him then?"

Nora proposed. She probably had that information from Jim or George or from anyone he talked to but her. And Adeline was scared again. Would he contact me? Or just ignore me? What if he confronted me? Adeline hated how well Nora knew her too in this moment.

"Adeline, I know you love him and that you're having a hard time with that topic...but don't you think half your problems could be solved if you just go for it?" Her friend suggested and once again knew her too well.

"Are you participating in the bet?" She asked now looking her directly into her eyes.

"Wait from where-"

"George let it slip."

"You're not mad, are you?" She asked carefully and stroked her hand through her black hair in fear.

"Not really, find it funny to be honest." Adeline admitted and it was the first time she smiled within the last ten minutes. And though she didn't find the bet actually funny and more of looked as it as a ridiculous idea it calmed Nora.

"Well but this is not about the bet, I promise it was more of a joke between us. I love you and I want you to be happy, that's the real reason I'm proposing this idea to you."

Adeline looked down again for a bit too long.

"Come on look at me!" Nora forced her friend to pay attention to what she's going to say.

"You know best how much this is torturing you, and I know it's not just that...there's a lot of things changing right now. But if you can find a way to confess it to him, please try to. I'll practice with you or whatever but please...I can't let you live that way for any longer."