HIM (an AmazingPhil fan fiction, Phil Lester)

Intoxicated

Finally PJ and Chris got back with our food and placed it on the table in the living room before collapsing to the ground, breathing heavily. Once they finally stabilised their breathing we decide to eat and watch a movie. Maybe it was the company, the conversation with dan, the alcohol or just the amazing pizza, but I feel so warm and relaxed. I have no idea what the film is but in all honesty I don't really care, my mind wasn't capable of concentrating on a movie right now. A million butterflies flutter in my stomach while the switch on my brain flicked off. Nothing is going through my mind but my body is buzzing with emotions. We're all slightly intoxicated so the film could be terrible but we'd think it was the best thing ever.

Before I know it the movie has finished and Chris and PJ get up to go to bed, not before giving everyone a hug. I whisper another thanks to PJ to which he replies "anytime" before he leaves the room. Dan and Phil are obsorbed in a conversation about a game, I think.

Dan: "well, I'm off to bed before my brain melts" he yawns

He follows PJ's actions and hugs each of us before leaving the room with yet another yawn. I hear Dans bedroom door close and the room falls silent. My body stops buzzing and becomes numb but my brain stays silent, deciding not to help in this situation.

Phil: "hi" he mumbles

Grace: "hi" I whisper and an awkward silence takes over the room

Phil: "Grace, I'm sorry I..."

Grace: "don't, it's okay Phil" I half smile

Phil: "no, it's not" he snaps "sorry, there's just another thing to add to the list of things I need to apologise for"

Grace: "No Phil, there's no list, no needed apologies. You've done nothing wrong"

Phil: "Grace, my whole life is one big mistake" he mumbles, almost un-audible

Grace: "No!" I snap "no, no, no! Phil you're amazing, you've done so much good for so many people! So many people love you, how could you think that?"

Phil: "I've done good?" he snorts "for who?"

Grace: "Dan, PJ, Chris, Cat, your fans... Me" I mutter, pulling my knees onto the sofa and sitting on them fully facing him

Phil: "you? I left you! And i did it again today, once again you needed me and I just left"

Grace: "No Phil, I left" his head shot up "I was the one who walked out of the door and got my stupid ass lost, you didn't force me to go and neither did Dan, this is MY fault and My fault alone"

Phil: "but..."

Grace: "no, no buts. As long as you had a good day with Cat" I half smile "you're so cute together" I try to keep the lump in my throat from turning into a sob as I utter the words I've been dreading hearing let alone speaking.

Phil: "um, we're not... together" confusion spreads across his face

Grace: "but you ran after her, the way you look at eachother" I mumble, yanking my hand through my hair, taking in this new information

Phil: "she's just a friend Grace, she could never be more than that"

Grace: "Why not?"

Phil: "because she's not you"

AN

Thank you so freaking much for 7k reads!! I never thought it would be this popular :) thank you for reading, voting and leaving the most amazing supportive comments, it really does mean the world to me :')

Stay amazing Internet!