HIM (an AmazingPhil fan fiction, Phil Lester)

old friends

*WARNING: triggering*

Cat: "I came to say happy birthday, guess you're busy" she grunts storming out

Phil: "Cat, wait!" he shouts, running after her

I sit on the bed alone, a sea of confusion engulfs me and a million questions race through my head. Who is she? What does she want? Is she Phils girlfriend? Phil left me and ran after her, why?

Then I'm abruptly brought back to reality when the front door slams shut. I assume it's her running out but then it opens and slams again. Then I know, he went after her. My bedroom door quietly creeks open and there looks a very ashamed Dan.

Dan: "I'm sorry"

Grace: "who, who was that?"

Dan: "that's Cat" he grumbles "she's come from America"

Grace: "oh"

Dan: "if I'd have known it was her I wouldn't have let her in, I just buzzed her up thinking it was PJ"

I just stay silent, he really has moved on. He chose this Cat girl over me, I look at the picture frame on my bed and reach for it to smash it. Before I reach it Dan pounces on it holding it away from me.

Dan: "he loves you, he's just... She's manipulative" he mumbles

Sudden I find myself in hysterics, crying, screaming. My emotions became too much, the pain of being left again, the anger that he chose someone else but also the emptiness of not being his anymore. Dan wraps his arms around me trying to console me but it doesn't work, I'm glad he's there but it was too much pain to handle. His phone begins to ring and he tries to ignore it and eventually it stops. But they phone again.

Grace: "go and answer it, I'll fix myself up" I sniff

He kisses my head and walks out of the room, taking one final glance at me before closing the door. As soon as I'm alone I lock my door and run over to my bedside table. I open up the small black box to reveal my old friends, they never left me. Several small silver blades with dots of red. No one knows and no one will know. I take out the sharpest blade and pierce my skin, I push down and drag the blade across my already scared skin. I do this until there's no area of my arm left untouched. It started with only a couple at a time but then it got out of control and spead, but I'm in control now! This is my way of releasing all my pent-up emotion and it's worked so far. I look down at my blood splattered bed sheets and flip over the cover. I wrap my arm in an old towel and run out of my room to the bathroom. I run my arm under hot water, creating an almost unbarable pain. Finally the blood stops and i search the cabinets for a bandage, I find an arm sleeve for a sprained wrist and pull it over my fresh cuts. I walk out of the bathroom and just as I do the front door opens and i hide my arm behind my back. Phil walks in and smiles at me, then she follows him in. My smile dissapears and i walk into my room, closing the door behind me.