A Lair's Truth (Atsumu x Sakusa)

T MINUS 3 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING

"Shoyo! Get it up!" Hoshiumi yells, and Hinata springs into action, crouching as low as he can on the ground with arms outstretched, hitting a perfect receive.

"Nice receive!" Atsumu praises, running closer to the net, doing a quick scan to see who's open.

"Left!" Sakusa yells, raising a hand in the air. They meet eyes and Atsumu sends him a knowing smile.

"Omi-kun!" He calls out, tossing the ball in his direction, that familiar toss, the one adjusted to be only for him, just like when they were sixteen in that god forsaken camp.

The ball fits snug right into his palm and he slams it down. Argentina tries to pick it up but fails.

The whistle blows. He vaguely hears them announce Japan's win.

The screams are deafening. He's pretty sure everyone's crying. He can't be sure whether the fluid on his cheeks are sweat or tears, maybe both.

He feels himself getting pulled into a sweaty group hug and he's slightly grossed out and then he sees Bokuto lifting Hinata in the air like Simba, Hoshiumi doing a victory yell while kneeling on the ground, Kageyama trying to get Bokuto to put his boyfriend down so he can kiss him, and he looks at Atsumu who seems to be looking for his family in the stands.

Sakusa spots them in the crowd. Both his parents were crying and he's pretty sure Osamu was teary eyed, just a little bit. He notices they're waving at him too. He waves back and can't really help how big his smile is.

And he thinks, now.

"Atsumu?"

Sakusa Kiyoomi is twenty-six when he looks at Miya Atsumu and Miya Atsumu looks back at him, standing in the middle of a volleyball court, having just won the gold medal for their country, that he realizes that in this life, he can't spend it with anyone else, but him.

"My Omi-Omi!" Atsumu exclaims, throwing his arms in the air excitedly, before wrapping them around his neck.

Sakusa melts into the hug, drowns himself in it, for just a moment, before pulling back to look him in the eye. "I'm gonna say it now."

It takes Atsumu a moment to understand, his expression going from confused to elated. His hands tighten around Sakusa's shoulders.

"Atsumu, I'm sorry." Sakusa says, sincerely, pressing their foreheads together. Atsumu tenses in surprise at the display of affection in front of an entire crowd.

"Omi?" He squeaks. "You do know we're in front of a thousand people right now, right?"

Sakusa ignores him. "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course I do." Atsumu says, like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard.

Sakusa slides his hands down Atsumu's arms, takes both his hands in his. "Do you still love me?"

Sakusa watches Atsumu swallow, eyes turning glassy. "Not a day has passed that I haven't, Omi-Omi." He sniffs, "Are ya askin' me to be yer boyfriend again?"

"No," Sakusa says, "I'm asking you to marry me."

Sakusa had never seen Atsumu's eyes go as wide as they did at those words. His hands tighten in his hold. His chin wobbles, the tears that have been threatening to spill, finally running down his face.

"Fuck, Omi," Atsumu sobs, "Ya can't just spring that on me, we... fuck, our marriage isn't even legal!"

"I don't care." Sakusa says, wiping Atsumu's tears away. "I don't give a shit. We can have some stupid ass ceremony in our apartment with all our friends for all I care, and then someday, I'll buy you a diamond ring and we'll get married in Australia or fuckin' Las Vegas, I don't care, Atsumu. I'm just asking you to spend the rest of your life with me."

Atsumu is hysterical at this point.

"Will you?" Sakusa asks, getting more and more nervous the longer he isn't getting an answer.

"Yes." Atsumu nods frantically, "Yes, shit, of course I will, what the fuck kinda question is that . "

A smile forms on Sakusa's face the exact same moment that tears start falling and without thinking about anything else other than the fact that he's engaged, he does the first thing he can think of doing.

Right in front of all the players, the spectators, the crowd of thousands, the cameras broadcasting them on live television, he pulls Atsumu in and kisses him.

And he thinks, maybe this is what they all meant when they'd told him what it is to live a life that is free, live a life that is true, and live a life that is his.

He doesn't hear whether the crowds boo or cheer (they're definitely cheering), he doesn't hear his teammates screaming bloody murder, he doesn't think about whether or not his parents are watching him somewhere out there on TV.

He only hears the sound of his own heartbeat, only feels the press of lips against his own, and only recognizes the feeling of arms around him that feel exactly like home.

__

Mom and dad, it's Kiyoomi. I'm saying it just in case you deleted my number. Hopefully, I'm not blocked.

It's been a long time since we've spoken. Honestly, a part of me planned to just never speak to you again. But I know that if I want to move forward without looking back, this is something I have to do. I'm sending you this message to let you know that I'm planning to ask Atsumu to marry me. To be clear, I'm not asking for your permission. I'm just letting you know. You may not understand us, you may not understand me, but I'm sure you understand love.

And I love him. Sincerely, wholeheartedly, unconditionally, so much that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. I always felt like I was suffocating but around him, I can breathe. And I've just decided that I can't hold my breath for the rest of my life. I can't. I've tried.

I want you to know that you hurt me and that you've been hurting me my whole life by rejecting something that's part of who I am. You've always told me back then that you want me to be happy, right? Well, this is me now, chasing after my happiness, whether you approve of it or not. But I need you to know something.

I am still me. I am the same baby you held in your arms and named, the same boy you raised, the same one you sang to sleep, played volleyball with, ate meals with, watched movies with, the same one you held for so long before he went off to college, the same one you've called your pride and joy, the same one you've showered with love and praise his whole life, it's still me.

I'm still Kiyoomi, your son. And I spent my entire life hiding this part of me from you in fear that you'd take that away from me when it was my favorite thing to be.

I'm not going to block your numbers and I'm not going to change my address. I'll be right here. I'll be moving forward whether you come with me on the journey or not. But I'll be honest and say that I hope one day, after some time, you do. Please don't come see me yet and please don't come to my wedding, for both our sakes. It'll be too soon. But eventually, if you find that your love for your son is bigger than your prejudice...

I won't ask for you to grovel at my feet, I won't ask for you to beg on your knees, I won't ask for you to march with me in Pride Parades, I honestly don't ask for much at all.

I just want you to accept me, fully, for who I am. Love me not despite the fact that I'm gay, but simply because I'm your son. And in accepting me, accept Atsumu too. I know you'll love him and the rest of his family. It's hard not to.

And once you do, once you truly do accept me, I want you to look me in the eye and apologize to me.

I'm going to live my life now. And whether you come with me or not, it's your choice. I'll be going forward, regardless. But know this. No matter what decision you come to, know that your son loved you both so much that he was almost willing to throw his whole life away just to keep you. Know that your son loves you both so much, even now, and that he will for the rest of his life whether he likes it or not.

You have a good fucking son and he's going to conquer the world with or without you.

So if you lose him forever, just remember that it wasn't his choice, it was yours.