if Mapleshade's kits lived

Chapter 32

Patchstar dragged himself into the clearing, the empty clan, that he tried to save, he felt like he was not saving it at all, but ruining it.

Mapleshade was a brave, strong warrior, but she had not proven that lately, since he ended her.

Patchstar felt so guilty he could die, he killed his mother.

"I-I'm sorry mother, I am so stupid, I tried to kill you, but you didn't deserve it, I deserve to die, I couldn't save you from my own claws."

Small pebbles crackled as he dipped his head.

"I know, it's hard, there was so much guilt into killing your mother, but you did the right thing, it's okay," Larch soothed him.

"it seems she's still here, looking upon her clan, watching upon it, I'm no leader, it hurts so much, she might still be here, but she's not."

Larch narrowed his eyes. "now I can't let go, and I blame myself for her death, she wasn't bad, I was bad."

Patchstar dug his claws into the ground. "it's all my fault she's dead!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"oh, she died!"

"oh, we were so happy together, now that's all missing I did this all!"

"It's my fault she's gone, I did it!" Larch widened his eyes. "I'm not special! I'm stupid!" he hissed.

The thought of Mapleshade made his throat tighten.

"I wish I didn't kill you, you would be alive if I were killed by RogueClan cats!"

"you did nothing it was me!"

Larch touched noses with him. "don't think yourself like that! she loves you, we all love you, don't kill yourself, we need you."

Patchstar teared up. "Mapleshade, I love you so much, if only I could reverse time..."