Beyoncé
Spent the night with another girl.
It was pleasant but not the best, as it usually seems to be.
I know I search for Megan in other women and it kills me when they don't deliver.
Every. Fucking. Time.
I grab my purse and a cart from the parking lot in the other.
My mama is steps behind but I pay no mind to her. We've just returned from a meeting where we couldn't find an agreement to anything.
It's not that I don't wanna see her, she doesn't wanna see me.
The company is a beauty brand, mostly geared towards skincare. My mama is nearly 2 decades older than me and we just don't see eye to eye as far as what the public could want. She goes for things I wouldn't then says stuff like, "you ain't seen a trend in a couple summers", and it makes me shut up everytime. The idea of giving her full control of the company and leaving is heavily tempting especially in these times.
I feel like shit at times because she has been holding the company down while I've been in prison, it's running better than ever so there's gotta be something she's doing right.
Old people shit, man.
I love her so much, but our ideas/visions always butt heads.
The minute we enter the threshold of the sliding doors there are two focuses running through my head.
1) get everything on mama's ingredient-list.
2) I feel a familiar energy in this place.
I put my purse in the baby seat.
"Bey, imma go get some cookies." My mama says with her hands on my shoulders before I go.
I nod and for a second stand in the middle of the store. I just can't shake the presence.
I remember Kelly tried introducing me to spirituality at some point when I returned. Maybe I've finally reached my awakening? I don't wanna be rude about it, but the energy is shaking me for some reason. Like it's holding me up in the air to scope out the obvious.
I spent a decade in prison though. This shouldn't have such effect on my but it does. I won't lie to you.
I pop my AirPods in and turn on an automated playlist Spotify makes for you based on taste. Kanye West's, Devil in a New Dress comes on. Since I'm just walking aimlessly, I take a moment to really pay attention to the lyrics.
The old ass lights flicker towards the end of the store almost to the same beat I'm bobbing my head to.
Nearly twenty minutes in here and I haven't picked a single thing, I start grabbing chips and honey bun packs from the nearby shelves. If my mother's gonna spend a world of time here I might as well get things for myself.
I turn the corner, quietly walking past a taste-testing session. The older woman operating me looks at me with a small smile and offers up a peanut desert. I politely refuse but she's not amused. Fuck. As I'm discreetly speed-walking away from her booth, she takes it upon herself to chase me.
I wasn't being rude, I'm just heavily allergic to peanuts.
Got sent to the hospital and everything when I was 3.
I duck and dive into several aisles to get away from her but nearly crash into someone. I look hastily and it's Megan.
I stand there looking at her wide eyed. It's now that my pulse increases.
Our jaws drop nearly at the same time.
Out of all the places, it's in this grocery store.
She's dressed casually in a light blue, velvet tracksuit. A basket in one arm with eggs, wine, pancake mix, and a few other things I can't pin-point from where I stand.
My eyes trail back to her face and she's looking at me with a small smile.
Mine is smaller.
I haven't spoken up yet because I'm undoubtedly in shock. 3 years, nothing from her. 3 years and it feel like I've reached the destination I didn't know I was desperately wandering towards.
I instinctively wanna feel her. Wanna see if she still feels the same, although I'm sure she does.
"You starin'..."
Shyly, I look away with a slight blush.
I instantly note that things feel amplified compared to how they were in prison. I don't have to hide my emotions from 50 others in a concrete prison floor anymore.
"Just playin', Beyoncé." She laughs and shifts her weight, popping her hip out. "Hey."
"Hey."
She's really here.
"How are you?"
"Good. You?"
"Good." She says with a slightly smaller smile.
I don't bother to pry at her anymore, as I'm not very well either. There's so much to say, but nothing expressed by either of us.
"Whatchu been doin'?" I ask.
"Finished college, I'm a... let's just say a detective." She says. "A forensic scientist."
I hum and nod in approval.
"I seen you on billboards. You ain't told me nothin' bout a business. Or was that a recent thing?"
"Nah, I've been had it, just haven't started doin my part til now. You know..."
Yeah, honestly I was hesitant to get back into my business. I mean a felon starting a business and getting her life in order?
I was fresh out of prison when I least expected. Life was hauled right back to me. Kinda like it does with an unprepared graduate on graduation day.
Eventually I decided to take part in the business but barely didn't.
She nods.
As if on cue, my mom flags me down with armsfull of products and food. I dip my head down as she's loud as hell.
"Ya mama?" She smirks at me.
I nod.
"Wow, you look like her."
"Thank you." My mother answers.
Damn. I love my mama and everything but she's embarrassing me.
Megan chuckles, "Megan, nice to meet you."
"Tina." My mama answers. "Nice to meet you as well. Seems like I'll get goin'."
Then the woman winks at me and skips off.
Megan leaves after watching me look down in embarrassment. Wow.
