Megan
Beyoncé has been in jail for the past week. I've been stuck to the phone waiting for a phone call.
I haven't heard from my friends. Any of them at all. News of Shawn and Wallace's death is all that's playing on the local news stations. I've avoided all forms of media just because I refuse to see their faces. I just want an explanation. From Beyoncé directly.
I know it's cliche to say this and it's said in all the documentaries, but Beyoncé was never the killing type. She showed the most remorse in prison for something that was not fully her fault. I doubt she "snapped" like the media is saying. I just need to know what she didn't disclose to me.
Julius flew out to me immediately per Beyonce's orders.
Julius and I sit in the car waiting for Beyoncé to get discharged.
It's hard for me to collect words. This just doesn't seem real. I just want to talk to Beyoncé and get her direct word.
I lean on the window of the car, outside of the jail.
Julius gets a message on his phone and let's me know he's gonna collect her.
I will admit, I'm scared.
Julius has a hand on Beyoncé's shoulder as she walks out with her head down.
She gets in and doesn't acknowledge any of us. I look back to her in the car seat and see the tear streaks on her cheeks a bit more clearly.
I know she's not evil, she just loves to play savior even if it's at her expense. She's spent a lifetime saving others.
I think it's time I grow balls and take that role. I'm afraid of what could happen if she continues taking falls.
"Want something to eat?"
We look back and Beyoncé shakes her head no.
My stomach sinks at the thought of going back to square one with her. The Beyoncé that didn't talk, that was semi-aggressive, and extremely closed off. I want my baby back.
We just drive back to the hotel and Beyoncé locked herself in the bathroom.
I heard her crying for the first time, but I couldn't tell if she wanted my comfort so I left her alone.
I just hope I don't lose her.
