Blue Souls

Chapter 6: Dishonor

I'm the worst. Ever.

We haven't said a word to each other since that "moment." I ate my dinner in peace by the window while he ate his on his bed. Now, I'm lying down trying to forget about that image in my mind, but I'm also thinking about why he had that in his wallet.

Don't get me wrong, safe sex is definitely a must. But, at our age? I'm barely 17 and I've never had thoughts about having sex with somebody else. Okay, maybe that sounds a bit misleading. I'm sure everyone's thinking that all men think about sex 24/7, but not all of us. Yes, teenagers have these raging hormones due to puberty and some of us are able to contain our urges. But, that's all I can say for myself. I don't know how a straight boy's mind works. I don't think I even want to understand all that mess.

Now, about that small blue square. Growing up in a Christian family, sex is a no-no between non-married couples. "Sayang naman yung dalagang yan, bata pa lang, may anak na agad." Then when it comes to teenage pregnancy, the females are always the first ones to be blamed. But then, there's also rape and molesting, but I think that's a bit too much to talk about at the moment.

Right now, I've got my back facing him, full of shame from all the embarrassing things I've done.

I hope he's already asleep.

He turned off the main lights a while ago.

Maybe he thinks I'm asleep.

But, I couldn't. My mind was to full of all these "controversial" thoughts about sex.

Wait a minute. What if this was his plan all along? Is he going to- No, no. I don't think he's that type of person?

Or was he? I had no idea of who he was. I just met him a few weeks ago, and the next thing I know is that I'm his "caregiver" sleeping in the same room inside an empty building.

"Hey, Alec. Are you still awake?"

My eyes widen.

Oh no! Is he gonna- Is this it?

I closed my eyes really tight, hoping that I'd fall asleep right away.

"Well, even if you aren't, I just wanna say thank you."

Huh? Thank me?

"Thanks for agreeing to be the one to take care of me. You know, it's been hard making friends since I'm a transferee and all."

Him? Having a hard time making friends? Literally everyone talks and hangs out with him.

"It's nice to have someone by me, given the experience back at my old sch-"

Shit. Leg cramp.

I had to move my leg because I was on my side the entire time.

He stopped talking at that same moment

 And the moment after.

And the moment after that.

And the moment after the moment after, I fell asleep.

~

Why is it so bright? Kukunin na ba ako ni L? What's- huh?

Yup, it was definitely morning.

Already?

My body was so sore from maintaining the same position the whole night, especially in this not-a-bed bed. I sit up and stretch a bit. I open my eyes and see him, still asleep, turning away the second I saw his face.