Mafia's Girl

Part 26

WARNING: mature themes ahead. Please skip if you are uncomfortable.

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How am I supposed to feel? I thought it would be sadness and grief, or fear and regret. But none of those things came.

How do you cope with killing someone? It isn't just something you learn in life.

I felt more confused than anything. I thought murdering someone would make me broken and I'd never be able to piece myself back together.

But after all of it, all I feel is numb. I don't feel the pain that should've come. Why wasn't I feeling any hint of sorrow?

I laid in bed, wide awake during the middle of the night.

We'd come back from the mission in a mess. I think everyone was a bit baffled at what had happened. We had specific plans that were almost fool proof, but something went wrong.

I didn't bother asking Chase why the shots were made so early. You could say I had other things on my mind.

We all came back to the mansion afterwards, deciding to face his father's wrath tomorrow. Apparently the boys hadn't gotten the information out of Vincent and I can already guess that won't be good news for Matthew.

Thankfully, no one had gotten seriously hurt except for some minor wounds and cuts. Ivy tended to everyone that she could, and we decided it was best for us to rest after this disturbing night.

I laid in bed now, Chase sleeping peacefully beside me. It was the middle of the night but I felt far away from tired.

I killed someone. I kept repeating it over and over in my head. It didn't seem real.

But why didn't I feel sad? I expected myself to feel shattered and hopeless. Knowing me I should have been bawling my eyes out already.

I felt restless in bed. I wanted to get up and do something, but what? I decided maybe getting a glass of water might help me with whatever I was feeling.

I looked over at Chase before quietly getting off the bed and leaving the room. I walked through the hallway and down the steps towards the kitchen.

I got there and poured myself a glass of water. I took a few sips but soon after realized it wasn't helping anything.

I put my head in my hands. I still felt like I had so much energy I needed to release. Maybe I'm just really tired and should go try to sleep again.

I walked back towards the stairs until something caught my eye. It was the hallway where all the offices were.

When Ivy had first given me the tour when I came here, she told me I wasn't allowed in the boys offices. She hadn't even taken me down the hallway.

I had to admit that I was curious. I've always heard the saying that curiosity killed the cat, and in this case it might be true. But what better time to snoop then in the middle of the night when no one's awake.

I crept down toward the hallway. The urge to look over my shoulder kept gnawing at me, but I had to remind myself that everyone was asleep.

I stopped at the first room I saw. I walked in and turned on the lights. I was surprised to see that I had entered a home gym.

Of course this place had its own gym. I wouldn't be surprised if I stumbled upon a whole amusement park in this house.

It seemed to have the basic gym equipment. Weights and a bench press were stationed at one side of the room. The other side had a treadmill and lots of other machinery I couldn't name.