Jump Then Fall

37.

Meredith was sore, her whole body felt like she was being stabbed over and over. It was unclear to her how she was going to get through the days like this when she was at home. Sure there would be pain medication but she needed help. She hated asking anyone for the help she had to have, because a grown woman should be able to walk alone to the bathroom or get dressed. And a grown woman wasn't supposed to have so much trouble. Meredith had been semi herself the first day when she woke up, but then everytime she closed her eyes or went to sleep the flashbacks hit her and now she was quiet. She was insanely quiet and all she did was sit and avoid most conversation. There were simple words, small glances and soft conversation, but everything had changed.

"I brought you a coffee." Derek smiled, standing in the doorway of Meredith's hospital room, holding a cardboard tray with two cups on it. "Good to see you awake."

"Thanks." She swallowed, her fingers playing with the blanket. She was a mess. Everything looked like it hurt and he knew things were settling in to her. He knew she was starting to fully comprehend the attack. The initial shock was wearing off and she was left to deal with it.

"Vanilla or hazelnut?"

"Vanilla."

"I didn't know which one you'd want so I got both." He smiled, handing her the cup of coffee before pulling a chair up as close to her bed as possible.

"Hmm."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I was beat and had my head slammed into a brick wall." She laughed sarcastically.

"Do you want some good news?" Derek breathed, holding her hand.

"Sure."

"You're going home tomorrow."

"That's good." Meredith breathed, thinking about the stairs in her entry way. They were narrow and steep, because it was an older house. How was she going to get up them to shower?

"With me." Derek told her.

"Hmm?" Her eyes looked up quickly.

"You're coming home with me."

"No I'm not." She shook her head quickly. There was no reasonable way to go home with him...not with the kids and her job. No, she couldn't do that.

"Then they won't be releasing you."

"I'm going home." Meredith whispered, tears forming at her eyes.

"You need someone to take care of you."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me." She tried to push her blankets off, the same time that she tried to move her legs off of the bed. It hurt so much.

"Mer..." Derek quickly stood up, stopping her from getting out of bed as she winced in pain.

"Stop I'm getting up." She groaned. "I'm getting up then I'm going home...I want to go home."

"You're not being released today."

"I know!"

"Please lay back down." He breathed.

"No." She murmured.

"You're going to hurt yourself."

"Oh and it can get worse than this?" She snapped. "It can get worse Derek? Is some jackass going to come in here with a baseball bat and finish his work because I wasn't aware it could get worse!"

"Please...just lie down."

"Fine." Meredith fell back against her pillows as he pulled her covers back over her. There wasn't much she could argue when she was in this much pain. There wasn't much she could do to fight back.