Demus Oneshots

Kitty Cat

"Rem, remind me why I'm buying you a cat?" Janus asked, not looking up from his phone. He knew if he did, his boyfriend would be making the stupid puppy-dog eyes Remus always made that he wouldn't be able to say no to.

"Because you promised." Remus said and Janus could hear the pout in his voice.

"When?" Janus asked.

"Last night." Remus said and, just for good measure, he poked Janus in the arm.

"Rem, last night I was so drunk I could barely see straight." Janus protested. "One time I promised you I'd get you the moon. You didn't press that promise, why're you pressing this one?"

"Because I don't want the moon!" Remus said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I want a cat."

"Remus, cats are expensive. They cost time and money and looking after and-"

"And they're so cute!" Remus said. Janus looked up at Remus.

"Am I not enough cute for you?" He asked. Remus laughed and cupped Janus' face.

"Aw, jealous little baby." Janus shook his head and smiled like he was trying not to laugh. "I promise a cat isn't going to take up any of the time I would spend with you."

"Rem, we're not-" Janus made the mistake of looking at Remus right then because, as he'd suspected, Remus was doing his puppy dog eyes. "Getting a cat." Janus finished with a lot less conviction. He sighed. "Fine, we can get a stupid cat."

"Yay, thank you Jan!" Remus gave Janus a quick kiss on the lips. "You're the best boyfriend in the world."

"Mhm, mhm sure." Janus said, rolling his eyes. "But you're taking care of it, okay?"

Janus would've thought getting to the cat shelter would mean a break from Remus' insistent chant of 'kitty cat, kitty cat, kitty cat' but no. Remus kept chanting all the way up to the shelter. Janus took his hand to try stop him from bouncing up and down.

"Rem, we're getting weird looks." Janus hissed. "Could you please stop acting like a 6-year-old?"

"What's so wrong with acting like a 6-year-old?" Remus asked.

"Nothing if you're not a 31-year-old. Which you are." Janus said. Remus snickered.

"Well, maybe I'm not the one garnering the weird looks." He said. "Maybe it's you dressing like a Newsie that's getting the weird looks."

"Rem, no one gives two shits about what I'm wearing." Janus said. He rolled his eyes, realising he wasn't going to win this argument. "Come on, let's just get you a silly cat."

"Yay!" Remus grinned excitedly and pulled Janus into the shelter, nearly pulling Janus' arm off.

"Hi." Janus said. "Um, we're here to get a cat?"

The assistant looked up at them and smiled, to Janus' relief. "Great. Do you have a specific breed in mind or would you just like to look around?"

Janus looked over at Remus. "Can we just look around at the cats?" Remus asked. The assistant nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I'll show you out back to the cages." The assistant led Janus and Remus out to the cages and left them alone to look at the cats.

"Rem, don't lose your head, okay?" Janus asked. "How about we look at one cat at a time and-"

"Sh." Remus said, pressing a finger to Janus' lips. "Don't ruin this moment for me, Jan." Janus rolled his eyes for what must've been the tenth time that day.

Remus ran up to the first cage, poking his fingers through the gaps at the cat. "Hey, kitty cat." He said. The cat arched it's back and hissed at Remus. Remus pulled his fingers out of the cage, looking offended. "Not nice kitty cat." Remus said and moved on to the next cage.

Remus had repeated this process about five times before he found a cat he wanted.

"Jan! Jan!" Remus called over. Janus looked up from his phone at Remus. "This cat likes me!" He said excitedly.

Janus walked over to Remus and put an arm around his shoulders, looking at the cat in the cage. It was a scruffy thing, it's fur a mottled dark brown and black. There was a shot of white running across its left eye and just above it's mouth, making it look like it had a scar and a moustache. It's eyes were a brilliant green, darkened in some places by brown so dark it was almost black. Really, it looked rather beautiful than after first glance.

"Yeah, but does it like me?" Janus asked. Carefully, he poked his hand through the bars in the cage, half expecting the cat to hiss at him. Instead, the cat stood up eagerly and sniffed at Janus' hand.

"See, they like you." Remus said. "Can we get them? Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please?"

Janus sighed. "I don't see why not. You try think of a name while I track down a shelter worker."

"Hey, so which cat did you want?" A shelter worker - their name tag said they were called Joanna - asked.

Remus pointed excitedly at the cat with the white scar across its eye. "This one."

"Oh, her." Joanna nodded and unlocked the cage. "She's been here for a while."

"Why? She's so pretty?" Remus asked. Joanna shrugged and lifted the cat out of the cage. The cat meowed a little.

"Guess no one ever wanted her." Joanna said. "I'll go grab her a crate." She said and was off, the cat in tow.

"So?" Janus asked. "What are you gonna call her?"

"Mindy." Remus decided.

"Mindy?" Janus repeated sceptically. Remus shot him a glare.

"Yeah." He said. "Mindy Winston-Dagger." Janus coughed.

"Sorry, Winston-Dagger?" He repeated.

Remus nodded. "Yup. It's our names with a little hyphen. Like it's gonna be when we get married."

"When?!" Janus said. "Remus, I swear to God, if you're proposing to me now-"

"No, I'm not." Remus said. "Yet. But I'm gonna, okay? So don't get any ideas about proposing first." He said, poking his boyfriend in the arm. Janus laughed.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Rem. No, that can be your moment. Besides, I asked you out first so I win." Janus grinned at Remus' indignant noise. "Now, come on. We need to go pick up Mindy Winston-Dagger."

This is cute, right? This feels cute.
Bye,
Blaize