The Secrets of Darkling Manor

Thirty-eight: Alina Starkov

Thirty-eight:

Alina Starkov

She woke with Aleksander shaking her. "Alina!" he called. "Alina, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open. The last thing she remembered was the two of them having sex again, up against the wall. "Aleks?" she whispered. "What happened? I.... there was nothing but darkness."

He hugged her tightly to him. "I'm sorry," he apologized, kissing her on top of her head, "Luda came back."

She froze. "She possessed me, didn't she?"

He nodded. "She has this insane idea that if I die, it will make everything right. If I don't kill myself, she won't leave us alone. And she wants to kill you. Badly. She thinks this will give you the second shot at being together."

Alina swallowed. "It was so strange. There was nothing but darkness. But it was almost like I could feel her. Inside of me. I was me, but I wasn't.... was she playing with glass?"

Aleksander nodded. "I don't know what to do, Alina. I don't know how to make this stop."

"I don't know how to make this stop either," she admitted, "The Apparat talked about necromancers. Couldn't you just confront Anton Safin? Convince him to stop whatever he's doing?"

"Confronting him isn't easy," said Aleksander, "he things that I killed Harshaw because...."

"Because why?" Alina asked.

"Luda was originally Harshaws girlfriend," Aleksander admitted.

Alina froze. "What do you mean, Luda was originally Harshaw's girlfriend?"

"Harshaw stayed with my family at one point. It was when we were first working on our company. He started seeing Luda because she was always around. But Luda...." He hung his head, and Alina's heart clenched.

She smiled sadly at him. "Luda was your life."

He nodded. "I grew up with her. I didn't like the idea of anyone taking her, and at the time I was seeing someone else. Tatiana. We were engaged, even. But I slept with Luda. Harshaw and Tatiana found out because Luda became pregnant, but Luda lost the child and by that time it was already too late. She became bitter and angry because Harshaw and Tatiana ended up falling in love and getting married and having children and Luda...."

"Luda drowned herself in the pond," Alina finished.

"Yes," he said, "I was a selfish young man, Alina...."

She sighed. "You're still selfish."

He hung his head. "I know. I know. But does that mean I have to lose everything? I lost my parents, I lost her, I lost our child.... for everything that I have taken, I have lost things too."

"You also took things," she reminded him, "things that weren't yours. Aleks, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he said.

"Is Genya's uncle really that greedy, or do you just not want him to have custody of her because you feel like he's taking something from you?"

He frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you don't do well when someone or something isn't yours," Alina said, "I know that Harshaw left her in your custody. But did you ever stop to ask Genya what she wanted?"

He sighed. "Harshaw was my friend, Alina. I wronged him..."

"Like you wronged Luda?"

He nodded.

"And your mother?"

He frowned. "What are you getting at?"

"Maybe it isn't the house that's haunted, or the birds, or a necromancer. Aleks, maybe it's you. Maybe the reason the ghosts are stuck is because you're stuck and you won't move on. Look at this place---has anything changed from the time you were a child? Or when Luda died? It's like living in a museum. We talked about changing it, maybe we should start. And maybe the first place we should start is with the groundskeeper's cottage."

He heaved a giant sigh. "I don't know if I can make it through that."

"Well," said Alina, "you're not alone anymore, Aleks. I think before you...you only thought of what people could do for you. You didn't think of what you could do for them. Now, you've got me, and you've got Genya, and if you want to be safe, we've got to do this. We've got to clean out the ghosts together."

Aleksander hung his head. "They're still dead, Alina. Cleaning up messes won't bring them back."

She reached out and grabbed his hand in hers. "I know that it won't bring them back. But moving on isn't about bringing them back. It's about letting go. Maybe once you let go, you can find a different way to make up for it."

"Do you think?" he asked.

"I do think," she said, "and I think you should meet with Genya's uncle. And maybe talk to Genya about what she wants."

"And what if the ghosts still don't go away?" Aleksander asked.

"Then, we'll have to go to plan b."

"What's plan b?"

"I don't know. We'll think of it if we survive the ghosts first."