Goodbye is always the last word

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕖

Hi, I'm Y/N and I am 17 years old. Until my 5th birthday my life was kinda normal but then everything changed. Our world changed. The sun burned down our planet and a Virus called the flare took over everything. Now I'm living in the headquarters of WCKD. WCKD is an Organisation which tries to find a cure for the flare.

My Dad works there as the vice chancellor. My mom got the flare when I was 12 and died when I was 13. I am not going to tell her story. Well at least not for now.
I don't know anyone else in my family. I guess they're all dead. Sometimes it makes me sad, but I still got my dad. He is the only one I have and I guess that's the main reason I am still here.
I don't like the methods he uses, but I definitely think that we need to find a cure. We argue a lot and I have a different point of view, but he is still my dad and I love him. But right now I am really mad at him.

" You did what???" I yelled and my eyes glared at him. "I had no other choice. You have to understand that." 
I laughed ironically "understand? No you should understand. They are my friends and YOU are going to kill them!"
"It's their own fault." That was the only thing he said to that.
"You didn't really think that they will never find the way out of the maze?" Yes, I said maze. 

WCKD had the great idea to put teenagers like me in a giant maze to provoke certain kill zone patterns which they will then use to attempt to create the cure. Before they started setting up teenagers in mazes, I had friends, best friends and... a boyfriend. We came together with 13 three months after my Mom died. He is still the love of my life, even though I haven't seen him 3 years, cause he has been in the maze the whole time.

When I found out that my dad put him in a maze I didn't talked to him for almost 3 weeks. I knew when Newt, my boyfriend (or subject A5 how my father calls him) will ever come back, he won't remember me or the beautiful time we had, cause WICKED deleted his memories.
When I found out that he tried to kill himself back in the maze, because he felt alone and useless, my heart broke in a million pieces. He doesn't know that there is someone out there who is waiting for him. He doesn't know that I AM waiting for him.

All I wanted since then was to have him and my friends back. Like Minho, who also lives in the maze for three years, Thomas who was set up in the maze a week ago, Teresa who's already in the maze for two days and Chuck who is like a little brother for me. And one day ago I had the hope to see them all again, because Thomas and Minho found the way out, but then my dad ordered to not close the four doors of the maze and let the grievers visit the glade.

"Of course not, but we're not done with our tests yet. We need them in the maze." He looked at me like he looks at everyone else. Showing emotions is to hard for him and and compassion as well.
"But you need them alive, don't you? When you're not closing the doors the grivers will come and kill them all." My voice broke and it was hard to hold the tears back. "Please close the doors, dad"
"I can't!" And with this words he walked out of the room. I was alone, like usual. 
Since my friends were treated like test objects, I have no one to talk to. Thanks Dad!

"Now I need one of your warm hugs Newt" I whispered, even though he couldn't hear me.
A little tear rolled down my cheek as Dr. McLawn opened the door. She was a person I trusted and I am glad she's here, but I could never talk with her about my problems and fears. She looked really worried.
"Y/N I have to show you something!"  She said, grabbed my arm and pulls me after her.