The perfect storm in a quiet room

Chapter 6

I'd like to say that lunch was fine, but it wasn't. The two hours we've been here seemed to be like four, and all the time I've been feeling like an out-of-place freak with my nerves on edge.

When we approached Dilara, Valentina and Leo, I was already a nervous wreck. Casy introduced me as a friend, although I was really busy being nervous and sweating to pay attention to that small detail. It made me happy, though. Then she said my name and added a small piece of information telling them I'm the new kid at school. Nothing odd, just the ordinary. They greeted me —the two fucking whores with a stupid smirk on their faces— and Leo with a sweet smile.

Then we started walking. I stumbled a couple of times because I spent all the time staring at Leo as a silly-love-struck girl. However, nobody seemed to notice it, at least Casy and Leo, because the other two couldn't stop looking at me and whispering something among them, as the other kids at school did this morning. It was exhausting, but I wasn't in the position to say anything to them. 

Those two and their attitude wasn't what really bothered me, though—it was Leo. Leo and the way he was eyeing me—when I wasn't busy tripping over, of course. It made me feel small and petty, like I wasn't part of the group or something. His piercing gaze made me feel like a weirdo who didn't belong there, but I preferred to kick those thoughts to the back of my mind.

Soon after the four of them discussed what place we should pick for lunch, they decided to go to the restaurant Casy's already proposed to go to. They said it was a brand new restaurant called Jagger. I didn't like the decoration that much, but the food was delicious.

All of them ordered cheeseburgers with fries, save me. I was okay with a small salad. My deep fear of becoming the fat girl of the class again still weighs on me and having started a new school is not the best time to put on some weight.

These past two hours, the four of them talked about a bunch of stuff that I didn't have a clue about, so I couldn't say much. I wasn't included in their conversation and they didn't ask me any personal questions to get to know me better. Casy asked me a few things, but that was it.

So far, this lunch was a mistake. I ended up feeling that anguish and depression in the middle of my chest. Everything was the same as it was back at my old school. But I didn't let the pain get under my skin. So I decided to have a calm lunch and eat, listening to Casy's voice, which was a familiar sound for me.

Now we all finished our meals and only Casy and I are sitting on the table. The other three went to the bathroom a few minutes ago. Why are they taking so long, though?

"You okay? You haven't talked much during lunch. I'm worried about you," Casy says while she caresses my hand with hers.

I feel her touch and immediately notice something. Something inside of me. I don't know what it is exactly, but the thought alone of finding it out gives me goosebumps. I haven't experienced this in a while. And the thing is that, just very few times someone has any physical contact with me. Even me and my mother stopped hugging each other a long time ago.

I look up and meet Casy's eyes. Her look is sad and uneasy. She seems to be truly worried about me, and that kind of makes me happy, although I know it shouldn't. But, the truth is that Casy is the first person—after my mum, sure, but not that often—that cares about me, at least seems to care, and that's a big deal for me.

"Yeah, sure, I'm... fine." I lie. I don't want her to know the truth. There's a lot to tell and it's neither the place nor the moment to do it. She's not even the person I should be telling that to because, although she appears to be kind and sweet, I don't really know her. I don't know whether she's trustworthy or not.