The perfect storm in a quiet room

Chapter 18

I'm finally in front of Casy's house. It wasn't as hard to find as I thought it would be, but it wasn't an easy task either.

I ring the doorbell of the house and stand a few inches away, waiting for someone to open it up for me, while I pull a mirror out of my backpack and check my makeup and hair. After having showered and changed so many times, at least I expect to look good.

The door opens and Casy appears from behind. An instant smile spreads across my face, which wipes away any sad and painful feeling I might have felt moments ago. And I already feel lighter—no worries, no guilty or painful feelings harassing me.

"Hi Hannah, I'm so glad you came!" She says excited and smiling as she gestures with her hand for me to enter the house. Her tone is nothing like the one she used when we spoke earlier. She doesn't seem angry anymore.

"Yes! I was looking forward to seeing you and your house!" I say just as excited.

"And I'm looking forward to you seeing it," she says as she shows me where to put my things. "Look, this is the living room, where we basically spend most of our time. This is the bathroom, the kitchen, over there at the end of the corridor is my aunt's room; and upstairs there's a bathroom and my room. It's not very big, but it's cozy," she finishes with a shy smile.

I look around at every part of the house Casy mentions and I dwell on the details, taking in everything. I stop at the dark orange curtains—something that catches my eye—that cover the living room windows; at the beige walls; at the lamp in the center of the room that radiates warm light. I eye the gray sofa covered with cushions of the same color as the curtains; the chocolate brown coffee table and the dining table with matching chairs. It's an eye-catching mix of colors I've never seen before, but it gives the room a quirky style and even makes it more interesting. I could even say that this room is like Casy's personality—interesting and special.

"Hannah, come over here," Casy says to me from the staircase, "I was calling you, what were you looking at?" she asks me, giggling.

I feel how my cheeks are getting hotter and I can already imagine that they are fire red. Shame on me. I'm going to look like a crazy girl who stares at the smallest fucking detail. Why do I have to be like that?

"Nothing, nothing, I was just looking at... the curtains," is the first thing I say.

She laughs and tells me to go with her upstairs to her bedroom. Still embarrassed, I nod and follow her upstairs without further ado, trying not to make a fool of myself.

We enter her room and I have to make a superhuman effort not to stare like a stupid girl at the walls full of stickers, colors and posters of the typical boy bands that all teenage girls go crazy for, except me of course—the exception to the rule.

I take my eyes off the overloaded walls and focus on the desk and the bed, which is messy and has clothes covering it up. I thought she was well-organized, but maybe she isn't...

"And this is my room... do you like it?" she asks shyly.

"Yes, it's very nice," I reply in kind.

She throws some clothes on the floor and sits on the edge of the bed. At first I hesitate, but I do the same and sit next to her. I drop my backpack on the floor and look at her. Suddenly the air between us is not so happy and joyful anymore but more awkward. Why do I always have this nervous feeling in my chest and stomach when I'm with her? Why am I always nervous when Casy is around me? I'm not supposed to feel this way. Yes, we've only known each other for two days and I don't know if we're friends, but we have had several conversations so I shouldn't be this nervous, but it seems like it's impossible. At least I know I'm not the only one who feels this way—I know it happens to her too, I can see it in her eyes and face, but what I don't know is why.