The perfect storm in a quiet room

Chapter 55

HANNAH

"It's ridiculous, isn't it?" She asks, staring absently at the starry sky.

"What is it?" I ask, though I think I know what she means.

"That these things happen, even though we're in the 21st century" she answers, turning around and looking at me. I turn around too and notice that her eyes are irritated and teary, just like mine. "That's exactly... why... I... behaved... so... badly with you," she recognizes, her voice cracking while she's looking at her feet. It seems that it's difficult for her to put into words exactly what she's feeling.

What does she mean by that? That she behaved like that with me out of fear of what others would say? Really? Out of fear of how others will react to something that doesn't concern them in the least? It really doesn't make sense what she's saying, but she's Casy, right? Few of the things she says make sense to me.

"What? Are you really telling me that? Is that why you revealed to the whole school that...?" I can't even finish the sentence. It hurts so much to remember that the person I love betrayed me in such way.

"Yes, well... no, but partly... yes," she confesses, looking up at the sky, ashamed of what she did just a few days ago.

I let out a sigh. That's my answer—I don't have anything else to add. I consider it very selfish of her to humiliate me in front of the whole school like that just because she was afraid of what others would think. She didn't even think about how that might affect me, she didn't even talk to me about it, and she didn't even care about my opinion on the matter. Sometimes it seems like she didn't care about me and that she didn't love me at all...

And that's when I remember it. She never told me she was in love with me. I never heard the words "I love you" come out of her mouth. Only I declared my love for her and even after that she claimed to have no feelings for me at all.

"Casy," she turns and looks at me, "are you really in love with me?" I ask as tears threaten to fall from my eyes again, assuming her answer will only hurt me.