The perfect storm in a quiet room

Chapter 47

HANNAH

Finally, the bell rings. The end. Now I can go back home... well, I can go back to the hotel. Yeah... and speaking of which... I should start thinking about what I want to do with the whole "hotel situation" since I'm running out of money. I can only pay for two more nights, tops. I really should start thinking about that, but now I can't. I can't put my mind on that issue since I'm already busy with the biggest issue of my life—Casy.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just can't. I see her every time I close my eyes, I see her in other people's faces, I see her in every wall, I see her every time I look up at the sky... It's... a torture, it really is. I just can't believe how bad I fell for her. I can't wrap my head around the fact that my heart... my heart longs for her. My heart needs her and my heart... belongs to her. I know how that sounds, but it's the absolute truth.

I stand on my feet and start shoving my things inside my backpack. While doing so, a finger taps my back. I turn around and I literally want to scream when I see Daniela Salvatierra's face for the second time in the day. But, as if that wasn't bad enough, my mom appears from behind her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck!

If the earth is planning to swallow me up, this would be a great moment to do so.

"Hannah," Daniela Salvatierra gets closer to me, keeping a serious look, "I called your mom and asked her to come here. After what you did today... I thought this was the best," she finishes saying, while crossing her arms.

"Hello Hannah," my mom greets me coolly.

I stare at both of them open-mouthed, not believing my eyes. Why? Seriously, why? Why is this all happening to me? I can't catch a damn break!

"Hi," I say, shortly. What's going to happen now?

"Hannah, come with me to the principal's office," Daniela instructs me as both she and my mom turn her back to me and walk out of the classroom.

What? The principal's office? That's a bit too much. I've only been a student here for less than a month and I'm already going to the principal's office? My god! I've never been to the principal's office before in my previous school. I mean, yeah, I've been there as a victim of bullying and things like that, but I've never been asked to come to the principal's office because of my behavior. If anything, I went there because of someone else's behavior.

"Here we are," announces Daniela.

I roll my eyes without them noticing and stare at the door in front of me. Immediately, I have a flashback of my first day of school and my first encounter with Casy. I sigh and look down. I can't believe that just a simple door can bring back memories that, at the moment, seemed irrelevant but that now hold so much meaning... I miss those days where everything seemed much more simple... I yearn for the obliviousness I carried back then.

I shake my head—this is not the right moment to think about that. I roll my shoulders, straighten my back and walk into the principal's office. However, a hand grabbing my arm prevents me from doing so.

"Not so fast Hannah," my mother's voice travels from her mouth to my ears and I turn back to face her. She crosses her arms and opens her mouth to start—what it seems to be—a long-ass speech, "What on earth is happening with you?" She asks testily.

I look down and cross my arms. She knows what's happening to me, at least a part of it. And she's half the reason I'm sad all the time and angry and want to disappear from this planet! She and Casy are my worst nightmare.

"Nothing," I answer matter-of-factly.

"Oh really?" She asks, sarcastically, "Don't lie to me Hannah!" She gets closer to me and grasps my arm tightly, "Tell me now what's going on with you. You weren't like this. You were a shy, calm girl, always reading and writing and doing that shit in your room and now..." she looks up and down my body, "look at you. You've turned into one of those rebellious teenagers, who are constantly getting into trouble." She says, disgusted by my mere presence.

I frown and raise my eyes. What have I just heard? What did she say? I can't believe it. Reading and writing and doing that shit? Shit? Now she's calling the two activities I love the most in this world shit? And now she's saying I'm a rebellious teenager? This is truly unbelievable.

There are moments when I feel as if she wasn't my real mother. There are moments when I feel that she hates me, rather than loves me. There are moments in which I feel the hatred she has towards me. There are moments when I feel unloved and lonely... and there are times when I feel as if I hadn't a family at all. Well, this moment is one of those.

"You know what mom? Yes, I lied. Something is happening to me, and you know what's happening? I'm growing and discovering how unfair and horrible life is. I'm finding out that no matter what you do, an imaginary force, the universe or whatever will always be against you. It's just like that. Some people are just meant to be unhappy all their life, and I'm starting to think I'm one of them," I say, not knowing where those words came from. Really, where did that come from?

"Oh stop it! Don't talk nonsense to me Hannah! What's that about, though? The universe? Stop saying shit!" she raises her voice angrily.

"I'm not talking nonsense!" I raise my voice.

"Yes you are!" she raises her even higher.

"Mom, stop it! If now I'm in trouble and the teacher wants to talk to you it's because I'm... I'm not okay. Can't you see it?" I lower my head and my eyes stare at my feet. "I'm depressed and angry and... disappointed. I thought this was going to be a fresh start for me, a great start, but turns out... It wasn't." I let out a weary sigh. "I just feel bad all the time... and..." I look up and raise my voice once again, "that's your fault! You forced me to leave home and go to—"

"Wait a minute." She lifts her hand to my voice, cutting me off, "I didn't force you to do anything. You left home and went to live in a hotel without telling me. You were so inconsiderate that you didn't even leave a note!" she snaps.

"I left because of you, not because I wanted to. I left because you were lying to me and hiding my own dad from me! You were fucking him while I've been missing him like crazy and you didn't even bother to tell me he was back! You didn't even give me the bracelet he left for me!" I shout hysterically and I feel my cheeks are wet and it takes me a moment to realize that I'm crying. Again.

As soon as I finish saying those last words... I know I fucked everything up. She wasn't supposed to know that I saw the bracelet. She must've noticed it, though. I mean, when she saw the shredded wrapping paper, she must've thought it was me who opened the present. Who else could it be? Surprisingly, she didn't say anything to me. Well, until now.

"How dare you..." she says, squinting her eyes and pursing her lips.

"Hey! The two of you!" Daniela calls us from the principal's office. She's standing behind the door, leaving just her head and right arm at sight. "Stop yelling and come here right now!"

She sounds very angry... I've never seen her like this. I thought she was calm and serene, but now I'm getting to know a whole new different Daniela Salvatierra. Guess you can't trust first appearances... I mean look at Casy... I thought she was sweet and kind, but it turns out that now she's the meanest person I've ever known. And look at me; I used to be calm too and now—as my mom said—I'm a rebellious teenager.

I suppose people are like onions—they have many many layers. The first couple layers are the ones they show to people they barely know. These are usually the ones that we like better. These are fun, kind and nice layers, but those that are closer to the center are connected to the heart. Those are the ones that show you how a person really is. Those show you a person's real values, characteristics, strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes, there are onions whose top and bottom layers are perfectly fine, yet there are onions that possess great top layers and horrible bottom ones, which ends up being a total surprise. Well, that's exactly what happened with me and Casy. She showed me her bottom layers and I was astonished and dazed by them. Her top layers covered so well the bottom ones that you didn't even think that a sweet, cute onion could carry so much darkness and evil.

Yep, she certainly wouldn't be an onion I'd be eating in the future...