Don't tell me nonsense

inaudible goodbye

"So you have been having sex abi?" My mum paced about while she was asking me.

"No, I haven't." I swallowed hard and stared at no particular point on the ground.

"So what, are you virgin Mary and a baby was just placed in your belly?" I looked up from the point on the ground I was looking at and looked at my mother with a blank face.

I got up after making eyecontact before I was pulled by my cardigan and slapped on my right cheek. It hurt, but I didn't cry; crying shows weakness.

"I am your mother, you will not walk away from me when I am speaking to you."she paused, I just looked at her and without saying a word walked upstairs.

She shouted, screamed and wailed till eventually she said,"have an abortion or get out of my house."

I was already packing, I would go to my auntie's house. I would take all the money I saved and put it in my purse.

I took one big black suitcase filled with my clothes and shoes, as well as my gym bag full of my books. I collected my bus pass, keys and carmex an put them into my cardigan pocket. I put on my black bomber jacked and enrouted downstairs hauling my luggage.

I refused to beg her, she wasn't worth my words, she didn't even want to hear what I had to say , so why beg. Finally, reaching the last floor I took an umbrella.

Any last words? I had none, but she had loads.

"So your leaving you ashawo prostitute." She kept running her mouth, she needed something to remember me by. Dropping everything in my hands, I picked up her favourite vase and smashed it. The vase was left on the floor in small pieces, that's how I felt broken. I entered the kitchen, opening cabinets I brought out her finest China. Smashing them all while tears cascaded down my cheeks.

"i thought I was a prostitute too you know." I smashed another cup and then a spoon.

"But I thought long and hard and cried loads and then realised that I didn't want it to happen, I didn't initiate it." I looked into space and whirled an eyebrow, I then broke my gaze and landed on my mother.

"i didn't want to be underaged and pregnant and you knew that, you fucking knew." I shouted.

"Do you know how it feels to be held against your will?" I put the plates down on the marble counter and walked towards my mother.

"I mean physically, in an alleyway at the dark of night and nobody cares, they all walk by like this is normal." I stared into her soul and it shivered with fear. This was the loudest I had been in months.

I walked past her opened the door and took my belongings, "i didn't fucking think so."