Don't tell me nonsense

Reflect

When I got home I got into the bath and scrubbed myself so hard. Dirty, I felt so dirty. I tried to scrub the deed away, wash it away, but I still knew it was there.

I felt helpless and weak, I just sat in the tub and let the water run. Maybe I could drown the deed.

I got out of the bath and just looked at my body in the mirror. I was ugly and a slut. I could have done more, " you could have done more to stop it you whore." I shouted at my reflection. Rejected by myself.

The moment imprinted on my mind, tattoo. I looked at my wrists which were slightly swollen. I wasn't even free in my own neighbourhood. The enemies are your neighbours and the ones you percieve as nice.

I dropped to the ground sick of the sight of myself, I was dishevelled and repulsive.

Slowly I was penetrated and I cried more, but he was not deterred; two accomplicies helped in the act.
I let out a throaty cry, all strength left on me to fight had been transfered from my body to his.

My mind flashed back to the fourteenth of February and how my heart was hurting. I was more than heart broken now, I was weak physically. I was broken. I still tried to squirm and his speed increased, his accomplicies became excited. They wanted a turn, a turn they'd never have.

"Relax fam." He said just a few words and my brain tried to match a face to a name.

One last swift movement and pain rushed through my body. Ecstasy minus the relief and pleasure.

I remembered every moment, every detail. Funny how the memories you don't want to keep never want to leave. Uninvited guests.