Don't tell me nonsense

Auntie speaks

"Auntie, auntie!"I squawked, she answered and I followed her voice up the stairs. Barging open her door I sat on the edge of her bed. Looking around the room there were pictures, pictures of her and her late husband; he was the love of her life, sometimes I'd walk in and see her just gazing at pictures of them together with such joy in her eyes and you just now love like that could never be duplicated. It was a once in a life time sort of thing, even if there came an opportunity to love again you could tell that my auntie would never take up the offer because what her and my uncle had was rare.

"What was it you wanted to say?" I just looked at her aimlessly, I wanted to be angry at her and kick off, but I couldn't. She was such a wonderful person and looking into her eyes all you could see was love, no hatred or animosity just love. That was all she had to give - love.

"I was just going to ask if you told them why." she just told me straight up, "because I had to, I'm not going to lie to them, they needed to know, I told them." she then popped a grape into her mouth, she was so simple and straight forward that was something you couldn't hate her ; it was that simplicity that made her beautiful.

"Auntie," I whinned.

"So what would you prefer, them thinking your a slut ?" she gave me no time to responde. "Well not any neice of mine because that is far from what you are, do you understand me?"

"Yes auntie." I spoke in a low groany tone. She then moved her hand across my glowing brown skin and turned my face to face hers.

"Listen and liisten to me well," she paused and swallowed, " I don't want you to think of yourself as any less of a person because your pregnant at the age you are, it is not your fault." she looked deep into my eyes and I gulped. "I've watched you for long enough to know you blame yourself, to know you hate yourself, but it's going to be alright okay?" I nodded while trying to hold back the tide.

"But auntie, everybody just stares at me and its so uncomfortable and they seem like they're all judging me even my mum does; she doesn't even care." I cried, she put her thumb to my face and wiped away my tears gently.

"I know they do and it won't stop, it won't and it's not the end of the world either whether they look at you or not, they were loopking at you before and now they're staring so what?"

"What people think of you doesn't matter, it's what you think of yourself, you've got to love yourself."

"You look in the mirror everyday like you've been cursed, you haven't a baby is a gift and you are the one who has been presented with this gift consider yourself blessed; I just don't want you hating yourself and yes your mother didn't handle this in the best way possible, but she misses you and 110% cares about you." i was laying on my auntie's lap by now whimpering like a small dog that got left in the rain.

"She calls me everyday and she calls you too," my body tensed up, " and you never pick up,what are you afraid of, what are you avoiding?"

I let that question run through my mind a couple times and I had the answer, while crying I answered my aunt's question.

"I'm afraid of her and what she thinks even if no one in the world's opinion matters hers will always be the echo in the back of my head never ending ever resounding."

"No matter how many times I try to tell myself I don't care what she thinks I always will because it's her, I would want at least her to listen even if I'm not as smart as my sister or as pretty; I just wanted her to take me as I am but she rejected me and that hurts." Wanting to have this conversation no more, I just cried and cried untill my nose was sore from blowing it and my eyes could yield tears no more.