COLLIDE | beomgyu

XXV

𝐉𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠.

Last night feels like a vivid blur.

I couldn't focus properly in class because I kept thinking about my parents. How long have they been fighting? A month? Or more? Does my sister know about this?

Yeonha was absent today but Soobin was present, and he looked anything but happy. I asked the girls if they knew where Yeonha was but they all came to the conclusion that she probably cut classes.

I'm also worried about them. I think the kiss had a huge effect on their relationship, but that's for them to fix. I just hope it doesn't ruin their friendship especially when they already have their lives planned out.

Worries aside, Beomgyu sang me to sleep! Atleast I have something to be happy about.

But he looked weird all day. Almost as if he's... thinking? About something. Sometimes in class, he'd randomly pose like he's playing his guitar when he's holding absolutely nothing, it's like he's practicing for something or... someone?

I didn't realize that I've been standing still in front of my locker for about ages now with everything that I've been thinking. I placed my books and papers inside my locker and shut it close. My hand staying on the door for a few more moments.

"Jiyoung?"

I turned to my right and saw Soobin, timidly making his way towards me.

"Do you need anything?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute," He cautiously looked at the many students surrounding us "Privately?"

I blinked but soon nodded "Sure."

Soobin grabbed my wrist and pulled me someplace quieter with a few students. Once it was just silence, he let go of me and I took some steps back.

"What is it that you wanna talk about?"

He gulped and gently stroked my upper arm, taking deep breaths. I patiently waited for him to finish because this seems a bit serious.

"In case this doesn't go the way I planned, I really wish nothing changes between the two of us after this."

"...Why?"

"With a girl as breathtaking as you... It's hard not to fall in love,"

I frowned in confusion but still continued to listen... It's hard not to fall in love?

I let out a rather awkward chuckle "What do you mean fall in love?"

Oh God, is this what I think it is?

"It's hard seeing you everyday, sitting on your desk, focusing on whatever the hell you're focusing on, looking so gorgeous, and yet I'm only supposed to look at you as a friend. It's confusing and annoying me that I can't hold you the way I want to and so here I am, telling you this,"

He likes me.

"I don't just like you." His empty stare repelled the sincerity in his words.

"I'm utterly... immensely... awfully... badly... in love with you... in every way possible."

My lips parted not because I'm shocked but because I'm speechless. The kind of speechless that isn't out of happiness but out of emotion you can't describe.

You know the feeling of when you're dropping from a rollercoaster? You can see that you're about to plummet, you can see it coming, and when it does you're still in shock. All your organs desert you for a moment and you don't know what to do.

I have no idea how to tell this poor guy that I don't feel the same.

"It's okay if I'm just a friend, it's totally fine if you don't feel the same," Soobin added "Because the fact that I can be here to take care of you and love you from a safe distance is enough. You can take my love but there's no need to return it."