Cold Sands || Beyond the Frore Dunes [COMPLETED]

Chapter 20: Intimate Distance

Wearing a full set of Golden Guardian armor, I follow behind Uncle briskly to the palace. As we draw near the royal city, Uncle looks back and instructs, "Remember, better safe than sorry."

I catch Uncle quickly scanning the Guardians standing guard at the royal gates with wary eyes. "You must pay close attention to the Guardian General, especially to what he does." Only after I nod to show my understanding does he nod with furrowed brows and enter the gates, hurrying towards Yong An Palace under an attendant's guidance.

I stride past soldiers standing guard and enter the royal palace. I look up at the ink black sky, then at the hazy palatial buildings. The grand halls are enshrouded by a thick, black fog, making the shapes ambiguous. It's only the fourth watch now so what could be going on?

Uncle's Wraiths had given a general report along the way. Just a while ago, the empress dowager assembled the Golden Guardians and other royal guards and placed the palace under maximum security. The Minister of Defense, Xie Yun, has already put his defense troops around the capital into action, and Heng Ziyu also has strategic points inside the capital under heavy guard with his own men. All of the capital's gates have heightened security. The atmosphere in the capital is suddenly tense.

Time trickles by. The torches high on the palace walls accompanied by the dawn peeking through the horizon refract off of the Golden Guardians' plates. I ponder silently about the current situation. Surely, it's an emergency of sorts, otherwise the various parties would not be so anxious. But if it really came down to it, I doubt these pretty looking soldiers could do much.

I bite my lips. Could it be that the emperor is departing this life?

Quickly, I push forward, trying to find an acquaintance or two to catch up on what's going on. Along the way, I see the palace under tight security with Guardians on patrol every hundred yards or so. None of the palace doors are opened and I can't seem to find anyone I know. I grab a random soldier over and ask. He replies after some thought, "I just saw the Guardian General heading towards Tai Qing Palace."

There are rows upon rows of soldiers in front of Tai Qing Palace and court doctors are coming and going with their heads lowered. When the Guardian General finally comes out, I hurriedly grab and ask him. Strictly speaking, he is Xie Yun's younger cousin. He looks solemn as he whispers in my ears after making sure no one is around us. "His Majesty's condition worsened last night. I don't think He'll last much longer."

"What?!" I almost hear a buzz in my ears. I stare blankly at him, trying to wrap my head around this. Everyone knows His Majesty is ill year-long but this has come too soon to take in.

With the war in a critical period, everyone is anxious, and not to mention the hungry wolves eyeing the throne, so if His Majesty goes—worst case scenario—Great Rui goes. His Majesty may be ill but he still holds the Mandate of Heaven. As long as he's here, the delicate balance can still be maintained, and the relocation may not happen as easily either. I gaze at Tai Qing Palace concealed in the dark with butterflies in my stomach.

Seeing this, he pats me on the shoulders, sighing. "'Tis troubling times."

I stay outside the Palace after he leaves, watching the sky lighten bit by bit and the dawn light breaking through in the east. A new day. A new start. But will it mean fortune or misfortune for Great Rui?

A purple-ranked attendant comes running from behind, saying quietly. "The empress dowager has summoned you, Sir Han."

Without a word, I let him lead me to Yong An Palace. Spotting the white steps and balustrade in fornt of it, my head starts throbbing slightly again. The attendant turns to me, saying, "Sir Han, the empress dowager wishes to see the pendant around your neck. Would you mind handing it to me?"

I falter for a moment before taking it off for him. Thank goodness I switched the pendants last night while changing. I just found it a bit difficult to look at. I thought I shouldn't keep wearing it if I had chosen to leave in the first place.

Standing at the top of the steps, my head starts to pound and throb again as if something was struggling to burst out but it can't for some reason. I hold onto the balustrade as a wave of pain strikes through me, tearing at my heart and lungs. My vision whirs around. I pant for air and hold tightly onto the railing as the things before me go blurry.

I hate this place. This happens every single time.

After resting against the balustrade for quite a while, the pain slowly fades away. Beads of sweat cover my forehead. I take off my helmet and gently wipe it off. My mind seems to clear up more as I breathe in air.

The attendant still hasn't come back out, so I just keep waiting outside quietly. Soon, I hear someone approaching and curiously, it's Pei Yuan. He grabs and pulls me along without saying anything the moment he sees me. I fling his arm away and point to the Palace. He looks in the direction but hisses quietly, "His Majesty wants to see you!"

I'm taken by surprise and an ominous feeling clings onto me. His Majesty?

It's dead silent in the enormous palace hall. Attendants and maids stand wordlessly behind the curtains and the court officials have all gathered in the centre. The front row mostly consists of high-ranking ones, including Uncle looking detached and pale. Heng Ziyu is standing with hands clasped behind his back and a cool, stiff expression. The other officials are also looking reserved. I lower my head and eyes as I step into the grand hall, those butterflies in my stomach even more restless now: I have no idea why His Majesty would summon me.

Uncle sees me and coughs before telling me solemnly, "Han Xin, His Majesty wishes to see you."

A bit caught off guard, I blurt out, "Why would His Majesty want to see me?"

He shoots me a cold look. "Shut up and just go." I clench my jaw and follow the attendant towards the inner hall. When I walk past Heng Ziyu, I spot a heavy shadow over his eyes and a sly smile on his lips.

It's also silent in the inner hall and only the pungent scent of herbs lingers in the air. This is where the emperor, the emperor who is only two years my elder, lives. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Wordlessly, I pass the hanging veils and swerve around a nine dragon jade screen. I quickly kneel down when I catch sight of the Emperor's bed.

I hear a feeble sigh and some small movements coming from the emperor. "Is that...Han Xin?"

I nod. "It is I, your humble servant."

I spy his arm reaching out from the bed, dangling weakly. "I don't remember...seeing you for some time." He waves to me with effort. "Come."

I do as he says, getting up but keeping my body bent nonetheless.

He is deadly pale, heavy circles surround his eyes and he is breathing so roughly he almost cannot talk. He only watches me steadily with a strange expression. I start feeling a bit weirded out by it so I quietly call him a few times. Only then does he regain his focus. "You...you have changed quite a bit."

I quickly reply. "Your servant hasn't, Your Majesty."

He chuckles softly. "Really? You haven't, while I feel like I am getting weaker and weaker."

I feel a bitter pang in my chest. His Majesty is two years older than me but has always been weak. He even needs someone serving medicine for him during morning court. It came to a point that he couldn't deal with national matters by himself and has to do so through an assistant. I still remember he called me into the royal palace right after my coming-of-age ceremony and ranted on and on about how boring and constrained life as emperor was.

"You...are still the same...fooling around with your gang of scoundrels...right?" He laughs out loud and life seems to reappear in his eyes. "How nice...to be able...to be free."

I try to keep my feelings down. "I beg that You don't say that, Your Majesty. You are God-sent. This servant cannot compare to You."

He shakes his head weakly, eyes staring at the door. "I'm not...joking. I'm actually...the most pathetic...I've nothing."

"Your Majesty!"

Intermittently, he keeps going in his breathy voice. "Do you...remember we...climbed on the roof of Tai Qing Palace...when we were kids...and looked over the capital...that feeling...the wind in your ears, it was like...you were flying."

He was in better shape in his earlier years and we would horse around all over the place. Tai Qing Palace is the most magnificent and solemn palace in the royal city of Great Rui and is the place where emperors ascend the throne. Even though we got punished severely by the empress dowager, he was still very enthusiastic and told me in private that he would do it again when he got the chance. With that in mind, I can't help but feel miserable, but a ghost of a smile appears on his face.

"I'm...afraid...I won't have another chance."

Immediately, I kneel down and bow forward, shaking. "Your Majesty, I beg of you. You're the owner of this realm. You will definitely have another chance."

He raises his quivering hand, pointing towards the door. "You have no idea...how much I want to see it once more...just once."

I lift up my head in alarm and stare dumbly at him. The pink in his lips has completely drained and his eyes start to lose focus. "Even if...I am the emperor...I cannot do...anything...I am going to...get scolded...by Emperor Shun...when I get to the royal hills, aren't I?" Then he starts coughing really loudly. "I...couldn't...do...a thing."

I can't take it anymore. I grab his hand and croak. "It's not your fault, Your Majesty. You are a good emperor."

He holds my hand with a deathly grasp, twinkles increasing in his eyes. "Say...do you think...there's a next life?"

I move my head up and down with force. "Yes, I'm sure there is."

He looks steadily at me and then turns away and laughs. "Good...even if I...were to be a human next time...I don't want...to be born a royalty."

I gape at him as if struck by lightning. I just watch him fixedly, not a word coming out of my opened mouth. He blinks and then suddenly cracks an eerie smile at me. "You're...not much better off...actually...you and I...we have the same fate...and there's no escape."

Out of shock, I pull my hand away, drawing back. I watch as he props himself up slowly. He keeps that miserable smile on his face while looking at me. "You...at least you've had...a taste of freedom."

My ears start to ring. I back away, bumping into the jade screen. I save myself from falling only by holding on to it.

The emperor's gone mad. Mad, I tell you.

I scamper out the door, not even stopping to help up the maid I knock down, out the inner hall and through all of the curious and the alarmed stares in the outer hall, leaving them all behind me.