The Prince & The Spy | Jungkook x Reader

40 - Ruined Everything

In the minimal amount of time that Jungkook had been at my place, convincing me to go with him and helping me pack, and clean the mess, a huge group of reporters had gathered outside of my apartment. They shouted all these things at us but I kept my mind focused on getting bono and myself through the crowd, my hand firmly into Jungkook's.

As soon as we arrived in the palace the queen greeted us, her eyes full of compassion or pity, I don't really know.

      'I am so sorry about your mom y/n'

I shook my head 'It's ...' I didn't know how to reply, it wasn't fine, I wasn't fine. She give me an understanding nod.

       'We will go to my room' Jungkook stated and I was pretty grateful for that.

I stared at my phone, Jungkook was silent. Without any second thought I called my mothers phone number. I hadn't done that for months, when she initially disappeared I had done it everyday but there was no response whatsoever. I didn't think it would work she would probably switched phone numbers. until....

     'y/n, honey'

My mothers voice echoed and a stung of pain, she had the same number all that time but she never picked up my calls, she never called me back.

       'I saw the interview' I let out without a greeting. Jungkook's eyes widened as he understood I actually had my mother on the line.

       'yes I wanted to tell you but they wanted it so fast so I just went along with it.'

        'how could you do that?'

        'oh come on honey, I thought if I could tell them they wouldn't make up gossip by themselves.'

       'Don't act like you did this out of care for me, how much are they paying you?'

        'Don't be like that y/n, I just revealed the truth besides this was the goal wasn't it? use him for fame and money?'

I stared ahead in utter confusion, how could she even think that.

        'I love him mother.'

She laughed in a sort of evil way

       'Don't be so naïve y/n, remember the lessons I taught you; you can use them but don't get attached.

       'He is not like that mother.'

I suddenly had a weird deja-vu feeling, it was in my dreams I had said those words to her as well. 

      'So you can ensure me that he won't leave you?'

I stared at Jungkook

      'Of course I can not ensure he won't leave me at some point but nobody can. You can't predict everything in life.'

She laughed again 'there you have it, you can't, and believe me he will. but at least like this we could make some money out of it.'

      'That's what this is all about isn't'

       'Well your father had some bills to pay me back, so he finally did.'

       'Jungkook isn't father, and you ruined everything for me. can't you see that!' I shouted fighting back the tears forming in my eyes.

       'Don't be so dramatic y/n. I didn't raise you that way.'

I chuckled 'raised me? We were almost living in the streets while you were drunk all the time. and then you left me. Don't give yourself too much credit.'

There was a silence until I continued in a broken voice

      'You know what? This was futile. I hoped you could give me an explanation or maybe I even hoped for an apology but you're still the self centered woman I remember. Please stay out of my life.'

I ended the call and the grip on my phone tightened, the teardrops were rolling down my cheeks before I could stop them.

Years, it had been years since I talked to her and this is what she did.

Jungkook put his arm around me to provide my some form of comfort. 

      'She ruined everything' I sobbed

Jungkook cupped my cheeks, brushing my tears away with his thumbs 'don't cry baby, nothing will change between us. I know who you are and this doesn't change that.'

I wanted to believe him, I really did but it would be naïve to think that this information wouldn't change anything. The media will eat me alive, they were already doing that to begin with. People would definitely not be in a favor of such a troubled princess.

I decided to go to university with Jungkook the next day, thinking that I shouldn't care about what people shouted at me.

That it would pass.

Monday was the worst, there were so many more reporters. and the thing that was even worse was that students on university ground took pictures. It was too overwhelming. and at some point I decided not to attend the other classes. I stayed hidden in the palace.

I felt like a fucking prisoner.

The sentiment didn't change that much though:

People were either against me because I was the daughter of the one that opposes the monarchy or they were against me because my mother used to be, and perhaps still was, an alcoholic. Either way I suddenly was a danger to the crown prince.

One of the worst theories was the one insinuating that I was working for my father, to sabotage the royal family. and the fact my father didn't contradict this at all broke my heart even more. Seokjin told me it was good for their anti-monarchy movement if people would believe I worked for them, so in a way my father used my mothers revelation to his advantage.

His advantage, yet at the expense of mine.

Because after three days this theory got more followers and one person started a petition.

I am not kidding, it was a petition to get a restraining order for me from Jungkook. I was poisoning his mind, I was secretly going against him. They wanted to use the law in any form to actually prohibit me from seeing them.

Jungkook thought it was crap and nobody would actually sign it.

He was proven wrong very fast as thousands of people signed it.

They didn't even know us.

but then again nowadays it seemed that didn't matter, social media or regular media would fabricate the stories for them.

The fact that I hadn't actually talked to my father in over 14 years didn't matter, and to me that hurt the most. He left me with nothing, no words, no excuse.

nothing

but now he decided I came in useful? and people actually believed that shit?

Same goes for my mother, I hadn't talked to her for over 3 years, but now she was doing interviews acting like she knew me? The person that was closest to any parent figure for me was Mr Moon, and he of course wasn't mentioned anywhere. The media couldn't find out anything about my spy life.

So their focus was on the things they could find out; my parents.

Whatever their faults were, I was their offspring, and without question that made me as bad as they were.