Why the villainess ran away

Chapter 1

The following story was translated and transcribed into the modern language from the many found manuscripts by acolyte Kiara Viggo of the Alayk Shrine. All names are preserved in memory of all who have fallen. May perpetual starlight shine upon them.

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I never thought about the sound of silence. Nobody tells you just how loud it is. It rings and rings like the bells of churches and doesn't stop until it is shattered. That's what my life was like; what I was like.

Silent until shattered.

Until I was shattered again, and again, and again and again and again and then i no longer knew who I was, and why I was silent in the first place.

The world didn't deserve my silence. It deserved my screams, and that is what it will get.

~

I lived in Seoul in my first life. It was grey, monotonous and absolutely depressing. Jeong, they called me; "quiet and still, just how you should be". I was a pathetic slave to a robotics company after being thrown away by my first family. Proving myself to my parents who had no interest in me and thought I was a waste of money, space and air was all I can now remember. I don't recall their faces, just the words they'd throw at me in the same way they'd throw their trash.
"Hey, you." I'd turn around, knowing they called me but not meeting their eyes. "Go fetch food tonight for us but don't you dare use our money," my mother said distastefully, looking me up and down and curbing her lips.
"O-Okay. But how am I meant to get the money?"
She'd hit me when I spoke back like that. I learnt not to at some point. The same point my longing stares and begging for attention morphed into dead sunken eyes and a downcast gaze.
The last time I tried was the first time I nearly died. It was after my part time job one weekend when I was 17, and my mother was drunk out of her mind on cheap booze and pills, her pallor a deep shade of red and her eyes scrunched.

"Oh,I g-got an A+ on my exam this year"
"You insolent child. How many times did I tell you I don't give a f*ck what you do and what you get."  Her jowls shook with how she was moving erratically. "You will never, and i mean never, be enough to make me forget you ruined my entire f*cking life by being born." Spit landed in my cheek as I dropped to the carpet. " Don't you dare  step inside the house after you bring the food."

They left me alone for months sometimes, and when my father came he was nearly always drunk and abusive. My mom did nothing to help and mostly watched from the sidelines. I ran away as soon as I found out I could and starting working part-time jobs and earning wages, anything I could do to escape and get a place of my own. I made a few friends but my insecurities and fears always led me to distance myself, to push them all away. Until I was alone.

I was 21 and a day old when I read one cliché reverse-harem novel called 'The lady's roses'. It was the most stupid story i've ever read, so terribly obnoxious and unrealistic I was going to drop it, but something deep inside me didn't want to stop...

It was about a commoner girl called Ariel with white hair and pink eyes, who was adopted by a noble scholar family when they heard of her rare light powers. She was able to heal people and purify villages and purge monsters as she had mid-tier light power so she caught the attention of a magician. Her naive and innocent self refreshed the minds of everyone and made them fall in love with her easily. She was extremely lovely and that was how she seduced the flowery crown prince, the gorgeous most powerful magician, the mysterious assassin owner of the raven information guild and the brother of the villainess who killed Lilith at the end. Lilith was a useless villainess who was unmeasurably jealous of the love the crown prince gave to Ariel.
Yes, the crown prince was Lilith's fiancé as she pestered her family and killed all other crown princess candidates.
She finally snapped from the lack of attention and proceeded to kidnap Ariel and kill one of the male leads in front of her. The crown prince eventually saved Ariel and before he could execute her publicly, her own brother stabbed her in her heart for harming Ariel.The death of the assassin male lead traumatized and saddened Ariel, but she was cured by the crown prince and lived happily forever in a kingdom blessed in Ariel's divine light power and the Crown Prince's royal sun god protection.

So, I read this and thought that THE CROWN PRINCE WAS A HUGE ROYAL AS**HOLE. Like please, cheating on your own fiancé? HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST ENDED THINGS and maybe... TRIED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH HER?. But yeah, the villainess was very cruel and definitely deserved to die a painful death.

So......could someone explain why in the everloving f*ck i'm her now?

author:Agghhhhhh I finally started an isekai storyy I read i think 400+ manwhas/manhuas and light novels and I think that's when I decided to write my own.