Why the villainess ran away

Chapter 3

Every single life I tried doing things differently, still striving for love of my new family after giving up on returning to my own world. After all, my previous world was not worth it.

I knew my powers were not ordinary already from the novel, as it said I possessed dark magic, but it was not the stereotypical evil magic that required sacrifices and all that voodoo sh*t. It just controlled the darkness and shadows. I could control monsters and heal too..... it just looked more gory and required a LOT of energy.However, dark magic users were being hunted and I would be hung if it ever was to be discovered, and as I could only use that power at night when my eyes were red, it was undetected( except from my 4th life when it was discovered and I was indeed hung for it while being called a demon... yeah, not exactly my idea of fun).
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My 5th life I also watched as I had control of flowers, from the lineage of my mother. I straight away showed my family, but they were disgusted and said that I was undeserving of them, while plotting to take the powers by force and giving them to my "wonderful " prodigy of a brother. Father gave me butterflies as pets; which I didn't know were carnivorous. After I died my powers probably passed on to my brother.

I discovered the extent of my own powers on accident, when being betrayed and stabbed by my brother in my 6th life. I did pierce his heart at that time with lilies and thorny roses. Leaving me crying about the betrayal in a temple, petals flying around and mingling with the scent of fresh blood.

In that life I went mad and took my revenge by killing every single member of my family and the royal family ruthlessly and finally being stopped and murdered by the assassin. I believe I forgot his name in the novel as I did with the others but I remember something about Azrel- azleir? Oh yes, Azriel.