Why the villainess ran away

Chapter 11

-Lilith Ekhilten-
The ships that sailed past ours with purpose blended in with the horizon whilst the tranquil landscape soothed my mind temporarily. The yellowish leaves of the palms and mosaics in the floors of the patios could be seen as we exited the port. It was a little like the structure of Venice, which even though I have never seen, I learnt about in foreign cultures In my past life.
Nostalgia is a bitter-sweet feeling; depending on the time it can give you joy or make you crave eternal suffering. Right now it was neither, just the painless numb of my fingertips, which wasn't half as bad as the numbness in my head.it's not that I didn't want to feel something, I really did. But anytime I tried, it just got worse. The laughter of my past lives was never truthful, and the smiles were facades to hide the monsters inside.

If I am truthful, monsters exist everywhere. "There are many types of monsters:monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then, monsters who tell nothing but lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance: they are much more cunning than others. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they have never experienced hunger; they study even if they have no interest in academics, they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in Truth, I am that monster."

I fall to the ocean waves slowly, thinking of the painless death that would surely meet me, another ending, and hopefully forever, but that would not happen. I would just be reborn or go back in time to that awful day. To this awful life. To this awful body and the monster within. The crew shouts my name, but none reach me, as I position myself in a way that would surely knock me out.

But then I stop.

"Hey, miss! What are you thinking of so deeply about?"

The hallucination was a fragment of my imagination.

Coughing, I answer,"...the past."
"Oh, well then why did you have such a sad face? "

I give him a death glare.

"Come on! I didn't do anything wrong. The ship is exiting the harbour any time soon now. It'll be a few hours until we reach the next one"
I step down the stair and hurriedly, step by step, get down to the doorway to the bottom of the ship, to my room.  With a quick glance in all directions to check if anyone noticed my strange behavior, I take a step to enter,satisfied. But then I stop. My senses are all tingly, as if I'm a cornered animal which is desperate for survival. Hmm I didn't know I had it in me.
Who is watching me with such hatred?
I didn't do anything to make anyone hate me here.. yet.
Well, by the rules of this world everyone should hate me. It's not that surprising someone is already planning to kill me.

I take a look around, staring into the darkness.. and for a moment... I felt it stare back.
—

~Axion Agrishe~

She seemed deep in thought staring into the ocean trying to reach it, or for it to reach her. It looked like she was already part of the ocean, or the ocean was part of her. I could call this scene a thousand different titles, but the most fitting would be 'the girl who loved to loose and lost to love.'

She looked helpless for a moment, so much unlike her usual self , or facade. For a moment she seemed to go back to the past, to try to be nostalgic of something, anything at all.

I could see myself in her. I really could. I didn't want to. But I could tell why she also had the dark powers, seems to me my friend loves to choose pathetic people.
In a wave of rage for seeing the resemblance, my fingertips start to burn. It happens every time I have the urge to kill something, someone. The only thing that soothes the killing rage is either murder, which he doesn't hesitate to do normally... or pleasure...

No, I won't kill her, yet. Not when it's more likely she'll kill herself on accident...

but i can watch and strike later.

When it's time.

Not yet.