euphoria | cazzie

You

A/N honestly cried a little while writing this

Izzie's POV

Telling Elsa was the hardest part.

When my dad and I showed up at her house the next day, she opened the door with a huge smile, ready to welcome us home. That smile dropped and was replaced with confusion when she saw my dad standing with me, her only daughter no where to be found. When she asked me where she was, my entire being collapsed. Because that was when reality hit me. Elsa had lost her daughter. And I had lost the love of my life.

I fell into her arms and cried, repeatedly telling her "I'm sorry" because what else could I say? She didn't cry though. She didn't ask me anything. She stared at me with no emotion, completely numb to the core. "I'm sorry too..." She mumbled, running her fingers through my hair swiftly before she closed the door. I couldn't find it in myself to leave the Gardner household. This was where I always went to whenever I was upset. Casey would always be at the door, Twizzlers in hand, with that comforting smile on her face that I fell obsessively in love with.

Now she won't ever be at the door.

Dad and I settled on telling everyone that Casey and I were on the way to get dinner with him when we were attacked at gunpoint, Casey being the unlucky one. But we always had the satisfaction of knowing that Jarvis was dead and hopefully burning in hell. But what was the point? Casey's life for his?

I attended her funeral the next day.

That was when I saw Doug, Sam and Elsa. They were destroyed. And especially confused. They couldn't comprehend it. No one could. It wasn't the funeral itself that made me cry. It was the thought that Sam no longer had his protector. He was just starting his life and he didn't have his number one supporter by his side.

When I walked down the crowd, I felt sympathetic eyes on me. I seriously didn't need that right now. I saw Casey's coffin approaching and that's when my knees buckled. I couldn't move. I wouldn't be able to take the sight of her lying there lifelessly.

She already lost her life in my arms and I didn't need to replay that in my mind.

I felt a warm touch on my hand. It felt a lot like Casey's. I slowly looked up to see Elsa, slowly breaking into a smile. I only then realised where Casey gets her adorable smile from.

"You don't need to do this baby. But I know for sure she wants to see you," She whispered. Guilt stung my heart. She literally lost her daughter.

I held tightly onto her hand and I found myself gathering the energy to walk forward. I took glances at the people next to me. The track team, Evan, Zahid, Sharice.

So many people loved her. How are we supposed to go on with our lives.

When my eyes finally landed on her, I didn't break down like I expected. It kind of felt like closure. Not complete closure obviously. I don't think I'll ever get that for the rest of my life. But she looked at ease. The last few moments I shared with her, her face was bruised and she was in so much pain. But here, she was so peaceful.

She deserved that. Peace.

I opened up my bag and took out the hoodie that I had hugged all the way back from GMF. It was Casey's hoodie. One of the many hoodies I had stolen from her closet. I secretly placed the hoodie next to her in the coffin. I felt Elsa sigh somewhat peacefully.

"Hey baby... I stole this from your closet the other day. You can have it back now. I still got a million more of your hoodies at my place which smell exactly like you," I whispered. "I still remember the time we snuck out in the middle of the night to go hang out at the school roof. You were wearing this exact hoodie. That was the first time I told you about my love for the stars," I continued.